gutsy prayer...

"God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you, LORD Jesus."
--Jim Elliot

God honors gutsy prayer.

would that You consume my heart, my thoughts, my all with a holy ambition unhindered by the fear of men, of world, or of death to the praise of Your glory and grace

goodbye

after a krazy awesome holiday (yes, crazy with a "k," no less!), i am entering the loverly, highly acclaimed hibernation of tax-season. you will no longer see me in bodily form, but a blog or two may escape from my laptop in rare moments.

aaanyway, this was the greastest Christmas of all time, with an insane Christmas party @ the karge's, a Christmas eve service @ Crossroads, all of Christmas off to spend with my lovely wife, alot of intense reading (John Owen, John Piper, C. J. Mahaney), and so many hours of skating w/ Andrew that I can't move w/o reminder of my age (or lack of skill, one of the two).

i'll miss you all; read deep books that make your face hurt, don't forget to brush your teeth, and have an awesome 1st quarter of 2009!

grace and peace,

cp

the poetry of Christmas...

Isn’t it compelling? The logic and love of a personal God revealing himself, accounting for our personality, our propensity to love. And oh, the mercy of God, born in shit and straw, to rescue us from ourselves, our godless gift-giving, and our arrogant disregard for God and for others so that we might know and enjoy him and his new creation forever. And that he, the infinite God, would do it in Christ, in time, in space, in confounding condescension to pivot the course of the entire creation project from despair, destruction, and dereliction to a hopeful, whole, and happy future.

Will you ponder the poetry of Christmas this year, the genius of the incarnation?

--gratefully and shamelessly stolen from the Resurgence

this message just might ruin your life

Does anyone else want to live like this?

http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/sermons/audio/2008-11-23_francis_chan_living_a_life_that_matters_pt5.mp3 (Audio)

http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/sermons/video/2008-11-23_francis_chan_living_a_life_that_matters_pt5.mov (Video)

I really want to want to.

Youth Ministry Should Not Exist (Part 1)

God holds men accountable for their wives and for their children. 1 Timothy 1:3-4 says the criteria for a pastor in the church includes watching them to see how well they pastor their own family. You go to the wife, "does he love you as Christ loves the church? does he care for you? does he provide for you? is he a good teacher? does he pray with you?" You go to the kids, "does your daddy read the Bible to you? Does he pray over you?" Because that’s what God does, that’s what a good pastor does, and that's what a good man does. Foolish men would rather their wives live their own lives so they do not feel responsibile for them or their actions. The current trend is separate bank accounts, separate cars, separate missions, and separate lives. Foolish men would rather their children live their own lives so they do not feel responsible for them or their actions. Regardless of whether the men are taking responsibility, God still holds the men responsible (Genesis 3:9). God sees us as one. One mission, one motive, one calling, one life.

As the church in America is emasculated and women are the majority in attendance, the men stay home drinking beer and watching the game, while the kids are dragged to church to be taught their doctrine from surrogate fathers. Paul warns in 1 Timothy 5:8 that if men do not provide for the needs of their family or they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.

Youth ministry exists because Christ-exalting, God-honoring men do not.

Out of the 32 boys attending my youth ministry in 2006, only one of their father's attended the church. This trend permeates American churches. One out of four boys grow up without a father. On average, the other 75% are given only 5 minutes per week of their father's time. Youth pastors are expected to act in the place of fathers by teaching boys to become men through 1 hour sermons once a week throughout the length of the child's teenage years.

I believe it is Mark Driscoll who says "if you win the men, you win the war."

The church fails when the men are ignored, because ultimately, the majority of sons will replicate the lifestyles of their fathers.

Paul tells Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:2 to entrust what he has learned to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

Teach the men to be good husbands and good fathers, and the wives and children will follow.

*Edit: No, I'm not proposing your church ditch youth ministry. Until we meet our perfect Father, there will always be a great need to take the gospel and training to youth, it's one of my greatest passions.

*Edit #2: I am limiting the phraise "youth ministry" to the average American church program consisting of an age-specifc audience being addressed by a youth pastor.

Christian or activist?

Our practice should flow from our position in Christ. Our actions ought to reveal our redeemed identity, not form our identity. Consider the danger of mistaking your newly-formed habits for who you are. For instance, do you think of yourself now as an environmentalist or as a citizen of Zion with an environmental conscience? Do you draw significance from being a "pro-lifer" or from being new creation in Christ Jesus? Ask yourself, "Am I confusing my practice with my position?" or "Am I finding my significance in what I do instead of who I am in Christ?" Guard yourself from subtly allowing cultural convictions to take the place of your identity in Christ. Ground your identity in the gospel and your practice will be more redemptive and more honoring to the Lord."

Very insightful post this morning from Jonathan Dodson at Resurgence.

vague

business, as usual

friday night i slept half the night on a twin mattress on the floor of a room decked out in spray painted bob marley lyrics and broken skateboards.

last night i slept in a king size bed in a room where they fold the towels to look like little suits and ties and flowers and crap.

saturday i ate a free hotdog from a church rummage sale, a red bull, and some of kage's french fries.

yesterday i ate at red lobster, coldstone, smokey bones, and starbucks, where i was served more food than half of the children in the world see in a year.

when i was inducted into delta mu delta, my professor said of me in my introduction "chris priestley is a walking contradiction."

Galations 1:10

how long oh Lord, how long? how long must we sing this song?

proflections...

Tonight: Dinner with Jesse and Jacob in Charleston.

Saturday: Pwning the Beckly skatepark with Kage, Davis, Adrian, Blake and Matt.

Sunday: Gathering at Crossroads in Morgantown, hitting up Sabraton skatepark with Ian and Andrew (this will be awesome!), and leaving for Blacksburg, VA.

Sunday-Thursday: Working in VA. Dave K. will be leading Plugged-In: Ephesians, during my absence Wednesday.

I miss my lovely wife already!

edit: the trip just got extended until Friday :\ hopefully i'll make it home in time for Open Mic at SoZo's

honestly

i have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. i wish that i myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers (Romans 9:1-3).

sometimes truth feels horrible.

Dear Church Planters

Be unapologetically tethered to the Word, and unconditionally loving of your community. This will likely cause the community to hate you for speaking the truth, and the local churches to hate you for loving the “enemy,” but it's nonetheless the only way God breaks through the barriers of liberalism and conservatism and reveals *Jesus* to people instead of religion or activism.

The great flaw of the Pharisees and the majority of the modernist evangelical community was--and often continues to be--ignoring people and only focusing on performance. Screw the world, it's all about me and my Deity and my performance in making my Deity love me and do good for me. This religion often ignores people--and always ignores compassion--and ultimately leads to either pride or depression. Pride being "I performed well, I made it, look at me, I'm better than all those sinners who aren't meeting my standards," and depression being "I can't do it, I'll never meet those standards, I'm a complete failure with no hope."

The great flaw of the emergent church is "the Word is offensive and spanks my inner-child, let's get together and love people, build community, fingerpaint our feelings, and worship incarnational Jesus as the sky faerie in lavender tights who exists to give us back rubs and free ice cream cones." Ultimately this attracts people to us but not to God, because it ignores the sin condition, and regardless of how many confession sessions we have with one another, until we understand we are failures and rebels against God and are reconciled to God through the atoning work of Christ on the Cross, we cannot please God or have relationship with Him. God is love, but love sure as Hell is not God.

Christ prayed for us that we would not be taken out of the world, but that we would be protected from the evil one. This is a prayer against radical conservatism (modern church) which says "the world is yucky, let's stay in our Christian bubbles and remind ourselves we're right while the world lives homeless, starves to death, and spends eternity in Hell," and against radical liberalism (emergent/post-modern church) which says "there is no evil one, there is no hell, everything is good, let's just accept and love everybody and never feel bad about ourselves." Christ then prays that we will be made like Him by the Truth, the Word of God. The Word causes us to move toward holiness and our love--or rather Christ's love in us--causes us to be involved in the world.

Post-modernity is in large part a response to modern thinking which said there's one way to do things (capitalism, legalism, etc) and if it isn't working we need to do it harder. It is easy to get disenfranchised with the church of the previous generation and say "they did things this way, and it sucked; therefore, we will do things this way, and it will own." Lots of rules last generation? No rules this generation. Right-wing conservatives last generation? Liberal democrats this generation. Modernists last generation? Post-modernists this generation. My prayer is that your movement would never fail to be a response primarily to the Word of God and not merely the culture or previous generation. If we are relevant, may it be because Paul walked through Mars Hill and studied the culture, the poets and the religion, and ministered accordingly, not because our parents' church was irrelevant. If we are loving, may it be because Christ was loving and not because the church we attended as children was not.

The church should not be a replica or reflection of culture, but rather should create culture within the church and use the existing culture as a conduit for evangelism outside of the church (church being movement of people, not building of bricks).

To quote Mark Driscoll the church exists to be a city within the city. A city that loves Jesus, knows their Bibles, and literally creates a culture that can bless other nations/cultures by loving and serving them. In this way, as the Word is preached through culturally relevent and accessable mediums, and as God opens eyes and hearts to see Jesus and causes them to respond in repentance, those outside the church will see this counter-culture doing life differently and say "hey, I want that," repent of their sin, trust in Jesus, and become adopted into the church where they expand the growth of this city within the city.

If the church is loving Jesus and living by His Spirit and Word, it will reflect a small, flawed reflection of what shalom in Eden looked like and what the new humanity will look like when Christ returns... absence of sin, war, strife, and suffering but also the presence of love, peace, harmony, and health (Acts 2-ish)... If that's what the church looks like, than those outside the church will want to join in. If the church does not value anything different than the city, then it will offer no appeal to culture, it will not reflect the Body of Christ, and it will not bring Glory to God. Because it always sucks when God looks down at his Body and says “that looks nothing like me.”

Therefore, as Christians we must use every cultural medium as a conduit of the gospel--i.e. media, txting, facebook, coffee houses-- to start conversations and share the Word with others. But as the church we must not allow the culture to influence us to the extent that we are also individualistic when the Bible screams community, that we are also materialistic when the Bible screams simplicity, that we are also prejudice when the Bible screams racial harmony, that we are all apathetic sinners when the Bible screams repent, and that we are all religious pricks, when the Bible screams love your neighbor as yourself....

Ultimately, may your hearts be engulfed in a passion for Christ to be treasured supremely above all things in every heart in your community in a response to the faithful teaching of Scriptures by any cultural means possible for the Glory of God and the good of His people.

In God we DO NOT trust

I'm totally bummed about this election... and not for the reasons most of you probably expect.

I'm wholly dissappointed by the reaction of many "Christians" in the last week. Is your faith in God or in your favorite right-wing, conservative, depraved politician? I'm pretty sure, if the Bible is still true, nothing can come against the plans of the Lord, and it is He who sets up kings and takes them down. If you disagree with policies, then disagree with policies, but if I see one more melodramatic blog or one more facebook status proclaiming we've elected the wrong candidate and now we are doomed to receive nothing but condemnation from God, i'm going to throw up.

Obama's election did not surprise God. He caused it to happen.

Good Lord, you guys are freaking out about the same thing every other greed-filled, prideful, self-absorbed American is freaking out about... Our hope is not in the economy or in the republican party or in our candidates being elected, our hope is in Christ. If the economy collapses it will be under the Sovereign hand of God, and it will be for His great glory and our good. If the church is brought under persecution, it will be by the Sovereign hand of God, and it will be for His great glory and our good.

Paul had the audacity to sit in a prison cell and say "Jesus put me here." Because he had such a profound understanding and faith in the One he called Savior, he knew that even though the Romans may have arrested Him and thrown him in jail, it was ultimately God who put Him there for His purposes and His glory.

American right-wing, faithless, conservative Christians are already disowning America and claiming "THOSE Americans elected this Obamination and now the church will fail!" as if poor little God had nothing to do with it...

Read your Bibles. God doesn't need you to defend His actions. He would like for you to use this historical, monumental season that He has brought upon us to share the good news that no matter who is in office or what the economy looks like Jesus Christ is our ONLY King, and ONLY Savior and ONLY Shalom. The DOW may plummet 500 points a day, the abortion rate my increase, churches may be persecuted, and you can either point out the evil in the government (the same evil that resides in you), or you can point to the Jesus who is our only hope.

The worst of economic times may be the best catalyst for the Gospel.

The worst of tribulation may cause the Church grow like wildfire.

Your God looks pretty crappy when you freak out and lose hope because your candidate didn't win.

Stop whining about your team losing and start glorifying your Savior, if you truly hope in Him!



//Chris

In God we DO NOT Trust

- Mark Driscoll


--John Piper

brandt

missions when dying is gain

http://media.desiringgod.org/audio/1996/19961027.mp3

where else would you go to hear a message like this?

i mourn that the pulpits of America are dominated by comfort-seeking, weak-willed, business-executive, crowd-pleasers who are interested in pleasing their audiences rather than pleasing their God, who believe receiving a nasty e-mail is tribulation, who seek their own safety, their own glory, their own fame, their own kingdoms on earth rather than embracing radical risk-taking for the Glory of Jesus Christ to be made known to all nations and all peoples, for HIS Kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven...

why are we pleased with the gospel of America? when has the Way of Jesus ever been the path of the masses, to be found in the megachurches and magazine racks, christian music and best-sellers lists..? Luther was not a friend of the state, Calvin was not on Larry King live, and Jim Elliot was not found at book-signings... they were regarded as the scum of the earth because they did not seek the treasures the popular culture values... they sought a much greater Treasure, and when they found it, they gave up everything in their great joy to make it's value known to the world.

if you worship a Slaughtered Lamb, why does your religion promise comfort, peace, and prosperity?

thank God for Dr. John Piper.

may God fill us with radical passion for His Kingdom that defies all comfort, defies the American dream, defies the American church, and exalts His name above all things even at the cost of suffering, even at the cost of death.

prayer

may You increase, may i decrease

may my heart break for the things that make Your heart break

i do not exist...

...only You exist

you'll find no constant train of thought here....

i highly recommend sleep.

if you don't get enough, life sucks even when it's perfect, and you don't care even when you should.

josh v. dropped by last night to hang out and talk theology. it's always refreshing to converse with josh. he's got a good head on his shoulders, and i can tell him about stupid ideas that i have and he usually puts up with them without calling me a heretic.

i got to spend alot of time with my lovely wife this weekend as we worked around the house, drove out to cooper's rock, and hit up the skate park on sunday. we've been keeping up with Driscoll's "The Peasant Princess" series, and it's been super-rad to come home thursday's after worship practice and just have that time to chill and watch a sermon, enjoy good food, good drink, and great Bible study together.

this is always a sobering, pensive time of year.

it's a great time to grab a cup of coffee and discuss theology, politics, and other things that you don't understand with your friends on your porch or at a small coffee shop and just enjoy breathing the cold crisp air.

ephesians 1:16-21

i'm blessed to be leading a small group through the book of ephesians this season... we have such an amazing time just sharing meals, thoughts, and prayers and struggling together to accept and live out the Word of God. it's amazing how often we bristle when God's ideas clash with our own (that sounds so silly typing it)... yet when we open our hearts to receive it, it's the most beautiful plan imaginable.

it's interesting: when paul was in prison, rather than praying for himself like any of us would do in prison, he just prays for his people. that they would have right theology (knowledge of God), wisdom, and open hearts.

our God has a name. his name is Jesus. we don't have to guess about what part of the elephant we're touching. he revealed himself through his word, and if we missed that he stepped into history as a man.

we no longer have to throw our questions to the sky: is there one god? many gods? how do we please the gods? the true God has ended our speculation with revelation of himself, so we no longer have to guess.

knowing this gives us wisdom--the practical outworking of the knowledge of God. if we know this God, how does it affect our marriage..? now that we know this God, how does it affect our relationships? now that we know this God, how does it affect our jobs, our finances, our choices..?

then paul prays something very curious: that our hearts would be open to receive this great God. alot of the times our problem is not that we don't know who God is, our problem is that we don't like him. it's as if God labors under this weird myth that He is in control... and it's very frustrating to those of us who have our own plans, our own ideals, our own lives...

may God reveal himself to us through the scriptures so that we will know who He is, may he give us wisdom so that as we live our lives we actually look like Christians, and may he give us a heart to receive who he is and what he has done so that we do not reject the truth.

please gather with a group of friends and meet together opening the Word and sharing your struggles, prayers, and lives.

"this is the good life...

...i lost everything, here in Your arms"

--audio a


shane's life is a constant reminder to me that he is the greatest (only?) pastor i've ever had...

i've been totally stressed out, depressed, and just overwhelmed lately. sunday, he spoke refreshing, strengthening words into my life that i didn't even know i needed to hear. greater than that, he prayed for me.

i guess God knew what he was talking about when he said it's not good for man to be alone... community = life

isn't it crazy that 99% of the stress and complaining in our lives is a direct result of our priviledge and blessings..? perhaps we should marvel more at our existence and freak out less over it's complexity.

God of peace, we want You.

weekend

friday, ian was trying out some new material at SoZo's open mic. we met up with camichielle and josh and suffered through some stand-up comedians before ian sang. ian's new stuff is insane. his voice and style has matured tremendously since he moved here from arkansas last year...

everyone made noise until camichelle would play something. i'm not sure why she's in criminal justice when she can sing and play like that...

josh and camichelle got us into up-all-night and we shot pool to some piercing wannabe jazz music.

how did we end up with our friends from highschool living in the same town..?

sometimes i just sit back and think "i can't believe we get to live this life."

i'm super tired.

i'm pumped about church this morning.

blogging about life is *so* cliche ;)

Someone pointed out that i seldom blog about what's going in my life. so, here we go.

Laura and I are *loving* life together. I’m working at Tetrick & Barlett, so i now cut my hair short, shave, and buy dress clothes. we travel day-audits enough to keep it interesting, but we only have to travel overnight 4-5 weeks out of the year (thank ya Jesus!)

I’m also serving as executive pastor at Crossroads, which is an amazing community of believers more intent to be involved than any other church i've seen. Our project currently is building a feeding center in the Dominican Republic for these kids that literally have orange hair and swollen stomachs due to emaciation.

My lovely wife, Laura, is singing on the worship team, nannying until November, and starting classes in Biblical counseling.

As you can tell by my latest blogs, we're growing discontent with our lack of involvement in alleviating suffering. God's convicting us to try to give a voice and aide to those that don’t have one—orphans, abused kids, homeless, etc. No idea where that will take us as we struggle through it, but we're fed up with complacency.

My brother/hero in Chicago, Craig, is putting feet on this through a benefit rock concert to build an orphanage in Tajikistan. I'm *super* stoked about this. Please pray about support this great work for the suffering in Tajikistan.

This weekend was truly amazing, we got to hang out with some of our great friends, Camichelle, Josh and Ian, and just catch up and play music. I think that was the first weekend we've gotten to do that since we got married, actually.

Sunday morning, church was amazing. Pastor Shane preached about the responsibility of priviledge. There were many new faces, so i'm very excited about getting the visitors plugged into our life groups so we can get to know them better.

Laura woke up monday too sick to go to work. She slept for 19 hours straight Sunday night, so please pray for her. I hate it when she feels bad, and I would take it for her if i could.

We officially moved into our master bedroom, so we now have a guest room available and a music room... now we just need more people to come visit. ::hint hint::

Body of Christ

When the incarnate body of Jesus Christ was ascended into heaven, who felt the effect of His bodily absence..?

...starving widows?

...rejected prostitutes?

...fatherless children?

...the blind?

...the poor?

matthew 11:5
luke 4:18

i believe this is a great question to measure the Christ-centeredness and Biblical saturation of your church:

If the body of Christ you attend were suddenly eradicated from the face of the planet, who would feel the effects..?

...widows?

...orphans?

...homeless?

...anyone?

How must God feel when His body does not look like Jesus?

Isaiah Chapter 1?

empire

Many kings in history and many dictators today intend to get glory. They want to be known as strong and rich and wise. And how have they done it? By keeping their citizens weak and poor and uneducated. An educated people is a threat to a dictator. A prosperous middle class is a threat to a dictator. A strong people is a threat to the strength of a dictator. So what do they do? They secure their own power by keeping their people weak. They get their glory by standing on the backs of a broken people. ...Kings...keep their people weak so that they can be strong and rich.

But now contrast the way Paul draws attention to the glory of God. If any king ever had the right to display all his glory by stepping on the backs of a rebellious people, it is God. But what does he do? He displays his glory by making his people strong. “Now unto him who is able to strengthen you . . . be glory forevermore . . .” God magnifies his glory by making you strong with his gospel. God feels no threat from your strength at all. In fact, the stronger you are in faith and hope and love through the gospel of Jesus Christ, the greater he appears. God does not secure his strength by keeping his people weak. He magnifies the glory of his strength by making his people strong. “Now unto him who is able to strengthen you . . . be glory.”
--John Piper, God Strengthens Us Through the Gospel

God forbid that the church of the body of Christ functions as an empire or act as a king who secures his own safety, security, and wealth at the expense of others and on the backs of the poor and oppressed.

May the American church follow Christ--body broken, blood poured out--for the whole gospel to go forth to the salvation of all nations, peoples, and street corners.

"We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body."

2 Cor 4:10-11

eucahrist

while i complain about low church attendance, our brothers in india rejoice that their pastors kept the faith while their churches were burnt to the ground with them inside.

while i sit at applebee's sipping an $8 drink, a woman in rwanda walks for 10 hours, from midnight to 10:00am to bring back water for her family. every. night.

i'm stressed out because i have a 45 minute commute to a job where i sit in an air-conditioned office with free coffee, soda, and clean water in the toilet.

ever 6 seconds a child under the age of five dies from dehydration.

i increase my standard of living at the expense of others' lives.

if only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
1 cor 15:19

how can i claim to follow Christ if my life, my spending, my standard of living would be the same even if i did not [1]? even if God did not exist, i would be living this same life, because my life is good. comfortable. why? so i can be happy?

need exists because relationships do not. if i loved them, i would not buy new clothes while they freeze to death in a cardboard box.

2 solutions. ignore their cries. or deny self.

which is of Christ?

i hope i don't feel better just because i typed this.


//chris



[1] Francis Chan's latest three sermons have truly convicted me in this area.

John.Piper.

I have no deeper respect for any living being than this man. I pray that at the age of 62, I have the legacy, the passion, and the authenticity of Dr. Piper.

I echo what Mark Driscoll posted in his blog post "Why I Love John Piper"

Piper does not meet the culturally hip/relevent standard of acclaimed pastors today. Piper is real. Biblical. Passionate. God has used his writings to utterly change my life in ways that no other person has. I hope to meet him someday. I'm not speaking out of idolatory and worship, but out of thankfulness.

Read Don't Waste Your Life, and When I Don't Desire God (along with every other book Piper has written), and allow them to penetrate your life.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

The difference between an entertainment-oriented preacher and a Bible-oriented preacher is the manifest connection of the preacher’s words to the Bible as what authorizes what he says.

The entertainment-oriented preacher gives the impression that he is not tethered to an authoritative book in what he says. What he says doesn’t seem to be shaped and constrained by an authority outside himself. He gives the impression that what he says has significance for reasons other than that it manifestly expresses the meaning and significance of the Bible. So he seems untethered to objective authority.

The entertainment-oriented preacher seems to be at ease talking about many things that are not drawn out of the Bible. In his message, he seems to enjoy more talking about other things than what the Bible teaches. His words seem to have a self-standing worth as interesting or fun. They are entertaining. But they don’t give the impression that this man stands as the representative of God before God’s people to deliver God’s message.

The Bible-oriented preacher, on the other hand, does see himself that way—“I am God’s representative sent to God’s people to deliver a message from God.” He knows that the only way a man can dare to assume such a position is with a trembling sense of unworthy servanthood under the authority of the Bible. He knows that the only way he can deliver God’s message to God’s people is by rooting it in and saturating it with God’s own revelation in the Bible.

The Bible-oriented preacher wants the congregation to know that his words, if they have any abiding worth, are in accord with God’s words. He wants this to be obvious to them. That is part of his humility and his authority. Therefore, he constantly tries to show the people that his ideas are coming from the Bible. He is hesitant to go too far toward points that are not demonstrable from the Bible.

His stories and illustrations are constrained and reined in by his hesitancy to lead the consciousness of his hearers away from the sense that this message is based on and expressive of what the Bible says. A sense of submission to the Bible and a sense that the Bible alone has words of true and lasting significance for our people mark the Bible-oriented preacher, but not the entertainment-oriented preacher.

People leave the preaching of the Bible-oriented preacher with a sense that the Bible is supremely authoritative and important and wonderfully good news. They feel less entertained than struck at the greatness of God and the weighty power of his word.

Lord, tether us to your mighty word. Cause me and all preachers to show the people that our word is powerless and insignificant in comparison with yours. Grant us to stand before our people as messengers sent with God’s message to God’s people in God’s name by God’s Spirit. Grant us to tremble at this responsibility. Protect us from trifling with this holy moment before your people.

--John Piper

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2008/3243_In_Honor_of_Tethered_Preaching/

//cp

...strange.things.are.afoot.at.the.circle.k

laura came home from work on thursday (our date night) and I asked her what she wanted for dinner.

"i don't know, how 'bout you?"

"joe's crab shack."

so, we googled the nearest Joe's and shot off to Pittsburg for dinner.

good times :D

...yeah

we are so freaking married

...insanity.defined.

five guys, five states, five days, ten skateparks, one dodge neon... prayers are welcomed.

...it's.been.2.whole.years.

today marks the second anniversary of my internship at National Government Services, Inc.... i've only got five work days left there, and i'm definately gonna miss the place.

as i was cleaning out my inbox i stumbled accross these thoughts throughout the last two years:

---

Man I'm going crazy cooped up in the busyness of life... it's like "the spirit of the sovereign lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the... keyboard... sent me to heal the broken... numbers? And break the chains of the... uh, desk." Yep, this is definitely my purpose...

---

Not in the subjectivity of our feelings, but in the objectivity of the cross, we were saved

---

I’ve been thinking about the youth a lot lately. It’s depressing :P I don’t know how Paul started churches and then left them in under a year… I don’t know how Jesus preached for three years and then left… I guess I must think I’m better than Jesus or Paul, because it is very difficult for me to say goodbye to people and not “nest” in their lives and try to help them forever. It is tempting for me to get discouraged (because of pride), when I see the kids struggling and doing stupid things. Like I must have totally failed and taught the wrong thing if after three years they still can’t keep their pants on and won’t read their Bibles. I’m tempted to think I’m the Holy Spirit, and I’m responsible not just for the proclamation of the message of Jesus, but also for the response. My pride thinks it would be nice to leave with a sense of “finality” or “completion,” or at least on a “good” note. I look at Jesus who ministered for three years, and ended up with 12 followers--one who killed himself, one who denied Him, and the other ten who were killed before ever pastoring a megachurch. Paul starts a church of 60 or so and leaves them to find a few years later they’re cross dressing, drunk, and one guy has his arm around his mom.

Perhaps that’s the reason for short-lived ministry… one day longer and you’d either be in a straight jacket poppin anti-depressant meds, or changing your name back to Saul and going old-testament on them. ;)

---

My biggest problem right now is probably self-absorption. It's easy to get passionate about how the national church is failing the poor--and we should, it's easy to get passionate about how many pastors are getting in the way of Jesus--and we should, but the world and the church's corruption is not the fault of someone else. There are times when *I* am indifferent to the cry of the oppressed... There are times when *I* preach my standards rather than Christ's, there are many times when *I* want *me* to be happy, or pleased, or fed at Applebee's more than I want the fatherless to have family, or the homeless to have anything to eat at all. I need to remember that *I* am the problem. And only by fixing what we can change--ourselves--can we truly make impact in the Kingdom.

---

God is all that matters...

When that one piece, if it’s okay… if it’s secure, then everything else is alright. No matter how miserable, no matter how unexpected, or how horribly or insecure or uncertain things seem… it’s like everything is okay.

When working so hard to make everything okay, to work so hard to be sure you’ve got all of your tracks covered and all of your paths straight, no matter how successful, no matter how proficient, no matter how well and perfect life is going… if that one piece is missing, then nothing is okay.

God is the only thing that matters. When you seek him, all that other stuff is taken care of.

He’s the only one that can enable you to enjoy that which you already have… no matter how much or how little “that” you’ve acquired.

---

Christians are like nails. The harder you hit them, the deeper they go

And when you are hammered, you rejoice… Rejoice not in the pain of the strike, but in the depth of its effect:

To be driven deeper into the Body of Christ…

(mark driscoll)

---

...when the kingdom of God comes… it comes with a love that breaks into the gates of hell and transforms the rejects, the addicts, the left outs, the not good enough, into the body of Christ… into the church…

---

I hope your school year is going well. I also hope you like okra. Because it is good for you. Okra. And school actually. They actually have a lot more in common than one would think.

---

If God has implanted seeds of change, the harvest will yield trees of the Kingdom.

---

In my opinion guilt only comes from people, satan, and the past. God brings only constructive conviction, a loving, sanctifying means of demonstrating His Grace, Fatherly Love, and Mercy.

---

I feel like every day, just waking up and praying Eph 2:12, what are the works You have prepared for me today? And then sitting back and watching as He opens my eyes to His plans, opens my heart to His people, and opens my ears to the cries of the oppressed...

---

We may not feel we have the strength to make it another week, another month, another year... but God only asks that we make it through the night, for His mercy and His strength are new with each morning.

---

“We cannot be a source of strength unless we nurture our own strength.” M. Scott Peck

“If you don’t do something differently, you’ll end up where you are headed.” Gary Koyen

---

--when everything revolves around You, then everything will be alright—

---

We will rewrite commentaries. We will never rewrite scripture.

---

It seems the Way of Jesus is not content to stagnate, but to flow throughout all of us and spill abundantly and exceedingly above all that we can contain and into the lives of others.

---

I’m much more inclined to be the instrument, not the instigator. The art. Not the artist.

---

Sometimes we need greater strength, but at other times we need a lighter load... Please try to seek a Sabbath as often as you can.

---

--God is not a drug, and he certainly does not make you feel better without becoming better-- (Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way)

---

There is no sweeter peace and no stronger bond then praying with a friend who is too weak and too broken to do so on his own.

---

Preach like a Baptist. Sleep like a Calvinist.

---

The doctrine of the infallibility of Scripture unfortunately includes “narrow is the path to life, but broad the way to destruction.”

---

The same sun that softens the mud hardens the clay.

---

I am glad God is not as religious as most pastors.

---

Conformity does not equal holiness.

---

There are so many songs we’ve left to sing that we haven’t even heard

There are so many words we’ve yet to say that we haven’t even learned

Never cease to dream

For through our dreams He speaks

And when He speaks this whole world feels a little more like home

---

So often in my life I have seen someone begin their journey with Christ and be instantly changed to fire. They love Jesus. They have a passion for their friends. They want to change the world. Then, they are told to focus that passion on conforming to the predetermined set of rules and regulations of a middle-class American, Caucasian, bath-robe Jesus. They're entire passion is expensed on what *not* to do, as if this earth is only an evil trial and the only purpose of a Christian life is to do enough "Christian" things and quit enough "wordly" things to gain God's favor so that when you die (their goal), you can be transported to some other-wordly spirit-realm and freed from the pain, struggle, and affliction of denying everything around you here on earth.

And their passion. is. vanquished.

If they are teens, they give up until they are old enough and apathetic enough and passionless enough to accept such a stoic religion.

If they are desperate, they expense all of their passion in hopeless endeavors of pleasing legalists.

...There was no mention of a church in the Bible. The word King James translated for "church" is "Ekklesia." It literally means "an assembly of people; a gathering," This is the church Jesus described as His body and began on His disciples. It is a body, not a building. A people, not a rule-book. A life, not a weekly service.


Imagine what would happen if new followers of Jesus were taught this truth. Imagine what might happen if people were crazy enough to believe the Way of Jesus was about joining others to redeem and createo culture, not run from it. To embrace creation, not suffer through it. To focus their passion on what Jesus can do through them, on eradicating poverty, on feeding the emaciated, on proper business practices, on loving people, on helping kids, on freeing the oppressed, on what Jesus *wants* to do *through* them by *his* power, instead of living their entire lives trying to *quit* enough bad things through their *own* power to please a Holy God who already sees them as righteous in *Christ* and could never be any more offended than by their attempts to save themselves through their own actions.

Maybe this sort of Ekklesia would change the world.

---

I have a hard time believing Jesus was destined to die for a church that sits within its four walls and sings songs praising their own safety while outside 25,000,000 human beings are being exploited and enslaved. I cannot accept Jesus redeeming a church to sing songs of their own redemption loud enough to drown out the cries of the oppressed. It became very difficult for me to sit comfortably and sing “He is Risen,” knowing there were teens under the bondage of addiction and children dying of starvation every 13 seconds. From my understanding, Jesus rose because He wants me to extend that same power and love to the nations—starting with the oppressed and emaciated.

---

I’ve come to the conclusion that hanging out with teenagers all weekend, staying up all night, drinking energy drinks, and skateboarding (or at least the slamming the concrete with your face part) makes you feel old after 20 ::nod::

---

The closer to God I get, the farther away I get from everything familiar.

---

I don’t think anyone truly wants a Jesus that simply fits into their messed up life. People need Jesus because their life sucks and they are seeking something totally different.

---

The teens are growing up. This is the first time I’ve ever done highschool ministry. I’ve lost some students. I’ve gained some friends.

---

My every blessing withers quickly passing in the wind
While my sins are far too lasting
I’ve amputated limbs,
It’s no good men, the beast lives within
No use severing infected members
When heart is pumping sludge

---

How can corpses plead for life?
Holy Spirit, call my name
Jesus Christ, propitiate
God the Father, look through me
And I will die as wheat

Deracinate my heart
Extirpate the whole of me
Nothing left to save
Best to start anew

---

...i'm.an.uncle!!!!

pics tomorrow of the absolute most beautiful baby girl in the entire universe....

she def. looks like me ;)

...we.were.made.for.this

Thoughts:

Scattered, random, and incomplete, but thoughts nonetheless:

Joy is inextricably connected to Jesus Christ and right relationship with him…

What culture has increasingly attempted to achieve in recent years is to extricate Christian virtues, attributes and characteristics of God, and model those independently from God. There are atheists committed to love; therefore, they partake in water purification projects. There are humanists committed to justice; therefore, they participate in equal-rights campaigns. There are activists committed to beauty; therefore, they levy for environmentalism. All of these attributes flow out of the character and the image of God, and at best humanity apart from God is displaying shards and pieces of the totality of what God looks like and what true humanity, as image bearers of God, was created to display. Where they fail to achieve happiness or enjoyment is that no single attribute is to be the goal of our lives or the object of our affections. Rather, when God is the object of our affection, and His Glory is the goal of our lives, we are conformed more into the image of His Son, and what inevitably flows from this transformation is the totality of God’s attributes and characteristics shining forth from our lives on display to the world. Summarily, if God is our goal, we increasingly radiate that which is of God—justice, compassion, love, truth, etc. Yet if that which is of God is our goal—that is to say, if we make the aim of our life “to be a loving person, to find the truth, to fight for equal rights, etc”—we ultimately fail, and at our best only achieve an empty reflection of a piece of some dismembered emotion or cause, neither of which will achieve our happiness, because we are not created to worship or love or commit our lives to an emotion or attribute, but to the God from whom these characteristics emanate.

We are not Christians because we seek to be loving people, we are not Christians because we seek to eradicate extreme-poverty, we are not Christians because we believe in equality, or peace, or hope, or love, or justice. We are Christians because we seek God—or rather, He seeks us. Every fiber of our being cries out for a relationship with the God who created us in His image, and we cannot be satisfied until something reconciles us to our Creator and liberates us to live as we were created to live. Christians are not humanitarians. Christians are lovers of God and reflectors of His image. We do not set out to be good people; we set out to Love God and to become more like Him, not by choice, not by effort of the mind or willpower, but by the irresistible Grace and calling of His Holy Spirit. When He calls us by name and rips our heart of stone out of our chest to replace it with a heart of flesh and gives us a new spirit--His spirit, which molds us more into His image—we naturally, we supernaturally, begin to love the things that God loves and care about the things God cares about, as our hearts begin to break for the very things that break the heart of God.

Therefore, our primary goal is not to feed the hungry and clothe the naked to alleviate their suffering in this sin-stained world. Focusing primarily on the alleviating of suffering, the eradication of hunger, or any other such worthy cause is an aim far too limited, far too incomplete, far too meaningless a goal to be undertaken. It makes a worthy task, but a terrible goal. It is a good endeavor, but one that is incomplete. If one is to devote his life to feeding the hungry, he may well feed them his entire life, yet we as Americans know of all people that food does not satisfy the soul—with the largest obesity rate and the highest depression and suicide rate in the world. Filling the stomachs of the emaciated alone will do nothing to change their government, give them education and justice, give them jobs or houses, or impact their children’s lives. Most importantly, it will not satisfy them or give them peace, it will not give them a relationship with their Creator, and a life eternally free from pain and suffering.

Our goal, our joy, our purpose, is a passion to treasure Christ supremely above all things. And as God achieves this purpose in our lives, He is Glorified and we are satisfied—as well as sanctified (made more like Christ—the image of God). Focusing our aim on God and His Glory will give us His heart—which beats constantly for the poor, the oppressed, and the hungry—and which will lead us to not only feed the hungry, but to lead them to Jesus Christ. This passion for the Supremacy of Christ in all things, to all nations, leads us to desire that all humanity experience, see and treasure and the infinite worth of Jesus Christ, so that God’s Glory and Fame might be increased and made much of throughout all the world.

So does this make God some esoteric egotistical maniac suffering from a low self-esteem problem? Were God fashioned in our image this would surely be the case. Rather, when a Being who is infinitely great, and infinitely good, and infinitely loving exists, the greatest gift He can bestow upon His creation is Himself. Therefore, our aim is to share the gospel, to share the goodness of Christ with all humanity, for the Glory of God. The outworking of this aim is the salvation of all peoples as His beauty and grace calls and compels them into perfect relationship with their Creator as He places a new heart, and His Spirit within them, sanctifying them and making them more like His Son, His Image, which is the ultimate joy, the ultimate purpose, the all-satisfying meaning and gift of our lives. Through their redemption, they then begin to love and act in mercy, compassion, justice, and truth received from the Spirit of Christ in them. This cycle continues as their passion for the Glory of God overflows and compels them to share the gospel with others, who in turn, receive new hearts and new Spirits, and begin to love and act in all the ways of God.

This is the gospel. This is good news to all people. It is in treasuring Christ above all things, it is in laying down our lives—in the example of our Merciful Saviour—that we truly live, that we experience joy and live life to the fullest extent, life, more abundantly—and more importantly, eternally.

This image-bearing—along with all of creation—is the art of a romantic lover pouring out His love and crying out to be loved in return. Our desire for justice is to draw us to the One who is truly Just. Our quest for truth is to lead us to the Absolute Truth. Our love of beauty is to send us in search of the Creator of all that is good. There is no objective for justice apart from God, there is no basis for truth outside of the Truth. When we feel strongly “this is wrong,” or “that is unjust,” it is the outworking of our image-bearing of God. God is the fulfillment of the totality of all of our desires for justice and peace and truth and love and life. All of life is a declaration of the sovereignty and majesty of God, and of our need for Him. The heavens declare the Glory of God. We who corrupt justice, who suppress the truth, who act in anger and hate, try to stand above God and judge Him as being unjust, untrue, and unloving? The very concept of justice, truth, or love does not exist apart from God.

If what we believe to be unjust does not come from God, it is not truly just. If what we believe to be loving does not come from God, it is not true love. If what we believe to be truth does not come from God, it is not absolute. Rather, the ways in which our perceptions of truth, love, and justice conflict with God, reveal to us our misconceptions construed from the culturally constructed influences we are bombarded with from birth.

I've been accused of having blind faith. I have no blind faith. I believe in God. I live with God, I enjoy God, I experience God, I love God.

Everyone has a cannon, everyone has a belief system. Your “bible” may be the compiled writings of musicians and rock stars and the conjecture of philosophers and scientists who preach that this God is archaic and unreal and nonexistent. Your pastors and priests may be cultural icons and talking heads that spew forth conjecture presenting God as unloving and unjust and the world is meaningless, flawed, and hopeless. You may blindly accept their teachings based not on experience but upon logic and familiarity. Your experiences and your vision and your life declare the love and the majesty and the Glory of God. Please do not convince yourself that by believing in the wisdom of a 2lb hunk of pinkish flesh called the human brain that you do not have blind faith. Blind faith closes its eyes to the beauty of the Cross, the Glory of the Christ, and the weight and severity of our depravity and sin and the world’s condition. Our entire education system has been indoctrinated by the preaching and teaching of B. F. Skinner, Freud, Kinsey, and Maslow. We are the cultural experiments of a belief system, and we are trained to have absolute faith in it. The result of this faith system is disgruntled America. So acknowledge your belief system, acknowledge your authorities. Your thoughts are not your thoughts, they are the socially conditioned beliefs spoon-fed from the lying, depraved mouths of talk show hosts, musicians, and old men living in their mothers’ basements ranting about the Mean Nasty God™ who does not exist.

Christ came to break through this culturally ascribed value system that is going nowhere to offer us the True Way of Life. All of our being resonates with His message of hope and resurrection and redemption because our hearts cry out for eternity, our souls cry out for justice, and our being cries out for relationship with our Creator. We all know we were created for more than a working week, wasted weekends and death at sixty. We all know there is something deeply flawed in the suffering of humanity, the injustice of the oppressed, and the maddening emptiness of a self-centered life.

This knowledge is the grace of God drawing us to Himself.

We can suppress the truth in our foolishness, drown it in our addictions, and hide it with empty conjecture and philosophizing, or we can embrace the Savior, fulfill our deepest longings and live life to the fullest extent in right relationship with our Creator, in service to others and in opposition to ourselves.

I choose-or rather, am chosen--to accept grace.

...skater.diet.

someone at work asked me what i had eaten that day, the following results were yielded:

monday

7:30am Bottom dregs of X energy drink found in my car

9:00am Piece of chocolate cake with chocolate icing from graduation party

1:00pm Two pieces of double doozie cookie cake from wedding/graduation/going away party at work

2:30pm Kool-aid burst (w00!)

6:30pm Another piece of double doozie cookie cake

8:00pm One (1) Cheesy Beefy Burrito from taco bell


when i actually think about it, i'm not really sure how i'm alive.

...be.yourself

no one else can do it.

life = rad

tuesday was the last day of classes ever. i don't even get that yet... probably because i have finals all week, but i'm sure it will be awesome after the fact. all i know is i'm definately hitting up Quaker Steak for all you can eat wings Tuesday night.

i took off work early yesterday and picked up Seth and Isac from school. we were supposed to go destroy the skatepark, but instead i destroyed my ankle in the first ten minutes... that was definately not zesty, but we still had an awesome time nonetheless. after skating we went and chilled at the mall and got into some craziness at little creek park. people as white as me have no business cruzing to tobymac and kirk franklin...

we're taking a skatepark/beach road trip in june that i've been dreaming about for years... it's going to be absolutely insane.

looking for a rush? luge down the soap box derby at LC park... crazy stuff.

i'm heading up to morgantown this weekend, while laura is heading back to charleston... i'm not really sure how that happened, but i've got to stain our front porch.

...acquire.the.tired

wednesday night my car got towed... they charged me $150 bucks to move it like five miles... so, thursday night i couldn't sleep. every time i heard a motor i was sure my car was getting towed again... finally, around 2am i ran out to my car, drove to panera, and slept in the parking lot until 5:30...

we took some kids from the church up to acquire the fire in pittsburg. i definately was not impressed with the speakers [1]. nobody at those events ever really deals with the whole sin issue, they just get all the kids hyped up in some psuedo-Jesus-hype fest and everybody gets saved five times and starts a new myspace group.

it really broke my heart how many thousands of kids "came forward" every night, without any understanding of what it means to follow Jesus. the goods news [2] of Jesus was never mentioned. Jesus Christ is so much more than a prayer you say to get into heaven. i could rant about that for a couple of hours, but it's not really worth the time.

the kids were awesome, it was a blast getting to know everyone and goofing off downtown. highlights of the event included spontaneously bursting into rounds of "father abraham" with the goal of seeing how many random people would join in by the end, starting a hard-core dance in the middle of the concourse and hi-jacking the town carousel.

church meeting was refreshing sunday. my friend ethan showed up, and it was definately chill to catch up with him.

oh, and while i was away, Brandt the Homeless Evangelist stopped by Davis Park in Charleston with the Apprentice... i am bummed about missing him speak, so if anyone caught that please give me a call... Here is a sad feature story in theGazz about him visiting Joel Osteen's church:

http://www.thegazz.com/guide/articles/Events/3104/FEATURE%3A+Young+evangelist+gives+up+all+to+preach

[1] day of pigs, roper

[2] 1 cor 15

...welcome.to.the.working.week

so i showed up at work monday to find my cube looking like this:




and this...

i was pretty impressed with the rockstar can and stress relief ball, that took talent...

i'm gonna miss this job

...how.do.you.get.a.cold.when.it's.80.degrees.out?

i had a profusely important exam today at 4:00. i took off work a bit early and headed to the library to study and fell asleep on the couch around 3:15. i awoke to jessica yelling "why didn't you show up to take the exam today?!" i awoke in a mad frenzy and did my fair share of freaking out and wondering how life would work out homeless without a job or degree. then i noticed it was 3:30...

...jessica is not a very nice person :P

went skating with my boys--davis and blake--today... davis brought waffles and a toaster to the skatepark. oh, and just in case there was a shortage of electricity, he pre-nuked about 10 chocolate chip waffles and brought those in a tupperware container.

mike--whose real name is allegedly "brianna"--sat down next to me, looked down at the tupperware container, and looked back up at me...
"are those... waffles?"
"yep."
"suh-weeeet!"

heh, i'm definately gonna miss my crazy, weird, amazing friends when i move to mo-town. it was a killer skate session until davis rolled his ankle.

i think shawn and i are headed up to mo-town in the morning. shawn is going to be a lab-rat for drug testing and i am going to work on our place with my brothah, keith, all weekend.

i'll close with some random thoughts that came up with a friend about an angry neo-athiest philosopher:

If nothing greater than humanity existed, debate may be quite productive.

But the Bible is not about humanity, the Bible is about God.

Anyone can misquote scripture, pull some stuff out of context, and feel very intelligent and self-righteous about themselves.

I’m not interested in debate. Neither is God.

I’m interested in dealing with sin, and creating a new humanity.

--this teacher-- is not interested in dealing with sin, he’s interested in ignoring it.

I’m interested in loving, living, becoming a better person, and pleasing God with my life.

We’ve all sinned, we’re all dying, the world is broken… we all know this.

I’m interested in destroying sin, ending death, and healing the earth, and Jesus Christ is bringing that together quite beautifully, while --this teacher-- is fussing about why he’s not responsible for believing in God…

I’m not interested in some angst-filled old man ranting about how mean God is like a five year old throwing a tantrum about his dad that won’t let him eat ice cream for breakfast.

This debate offers nothing but an attitude that is egotistical. Selfish. Prideful. Angry.

It is about not seeking help. Is about not admitting our own brokenness. Is about not taking part in the healing of the world. It ignores every important issue in life that matters. I am more interested in feeding children without food… arguing that God does not exist does not fill their stomachs. I’m more interested in my friends who feel hopeless in bondage to alcohol and addictions to drugs… Jesus Christ is resurrection, redemption, renewel and freedom. That’s a gospel I believe in. Arguing God does not exist does not liberate my friends from their bondage or their depression. I’m more interested in a meaningful life. Jesus Christ is giving me a reason to live, a purpose to wake up in the morning that is larger than me or my ego. Arguing God does not exist casts the world into a meaningless fatalistic hopelessness. I believe in hope. I believe in resurrection. I believe in redemption. I believe humanity is going somewhere.

If you’re looking for “arguments” supporting the faith, check out “The Reason for God” by Dr. Timothy Keller. There is a plethora of resources available. But I’m not interested in those either, really… God is true. Jesus is true. Resurrection is true. Love is true. That is what I want my life to be about. Angst-filled human conjecture and opinion holds no answers for me. No truth, just pride.

Those conversations are destructive. They are one sided. They are hurtful.

The conversations point to a belief system. It appears rooted in anger, pride, and destructive lies. I do not see how those conversations are helping the world, advancing humanity, or solving sin problems, freeing those in bondage from their addictions, or feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, or giving justice to the weak and the oppressed. That belief system is not big enough for me, or God, or the rest of the world.

It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can doubt. But if we hunger for the truth, we should doubt our doubt. We should test and scrutinize and doubt our doubts just as intensely as we doubt our beliefs. Because our doubt is a belief system, and if it were true, we could bring it into the light and call it what it is, call it truth, and show it as beautiful and meaningful and life changing. But doubts do not hold up to the beauty and the truth of redemption and resurrection and new life and freedom and love and justice that Jesus Christ embodies.

If you doubt God’s love, then you must prove it and test it. And when I look at the times He has given me life when I should have been dead. When he has freed me from addictions. When he has healed broken marriages. When he has given hope and peace to those who have none. When he has given life abundantly. When I look at my friends and my life and the beauty of the sky and the warmth of the sun… and ultimately when I look at the Cross upon which He suffered for all of humanity, I see His love. I see His truth. I see beauty. I see resurrection. I see life.

And the truth of Jesus Christ pulls a Chuck Norris on my doubt, because there is no “doubt” in my mind that Jesus Christ loves me. My entire life has been a tragedy that he is speaking joy into. He has endlessly, relentlessly pursued me while I've tried to give him the finger and run to the hell of my own destruction.

I have experienced hate and anger and pride and addiction. I do not enjoy them. They leave me enslaved. Depressed. Meaningless. Hopeless. And they do nothing for the rest of the world. They add nothing to beauty, to creativity, to music, to art, to love, to community, to everything that is of God.

I believe in resurrection. I believe in life. I believe in love. I have experienced all of these things. And I enjoy them. I trust them. I have faith in them. I have faith in Jesus Christ.

I have a faith that is going somewhere. I know a God that is up to something in the world. I live a life that is full of undeserved, indescribable joy even in the midst of suffering.

I believe in God.

...homemade.spring.break

i had an interview on thursday, so i took off work thursday and friday... after maquesting the location, i realized the commute would be unreasonable, so i hit up coonskin and skated for two or three... i'm pretty sure the tomb is empty, because the weather was like heaven...

i drove back home around 1, got restless in under five minutes because the sun was still casting its tempting rays. picked up zach m. and went back to the skin for three or four hours... it was definately chill to skate w/ my old friends zach and billy again. i'm gonna miss the locals around here for sure.

oh, and my 14 year old dream came true thursday: a skate shop asked to sponsor me. brilliant timing what with being old and moving to morgantown and all...

so brad called me late that night and said he, andrew, and their friend zach were going to the columbus mac store to pick up a macbook. we left around 9am, returned around 3am... good times, good music, great friends.

my beautiful fiance is in today for her bridal shower. afterwards we're definately gonna hit up the skate park, grab some coffee, and enjoy the day. i told billy i wouldn't be skating saturday, "my fiance's bridal shower is that morning." he asked me who was getting married...

i'm facing severe aversion to all things school-related this weekend.

call me if you want to help me avoid studying 550.7449.


focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming

they aren't coming for us

we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind

forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out

in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war against

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails



--this is it, this is it; as cities burn

...economics.of.God

The paradigm of diminishing marginal utilities states that for every additional unit consumed, marginal utility, or pleasure, decreases at a increasing rate.

For example, you’re wandering through the desert for two weeks without any food to eat, starving, and emaciated when there, on the horizon, is a glorious pizza hut. The manager notices your emaciation and quickly changes the prices, one slice of pizza = $25. You’re starving, you don’t care, $25 is nothing to pay for pizza… so you eat your slice and still you are hungry… but you're not hungry enough to pay $25... for the next piece you'll pay $20... the next maybe $10... after three pieces you're not really hungry enough to pay $10 a slice, but maybe $3. after another three slices you're actually getting tired of pizza, but he lowers the price to $1, so another two slices are consumed... at some point, the margin of utitlity becomes so small that the manager could offer you free pizza, and you would not oblige.

The pleasure received from one incrimental unit diminishes increasingly as more unites are consumed... Other obvious practical examples include drug addictions (it takes more and more to get you high), roller coaster rides (it's not worth waiting three hours in line after the second time through), and even your favorite song (if placed on repeat for six hours, it will diminish from being joy-inducing to torture--which btw is why the radio sucks ;) ).

Every experience in life is subject to diminishing marginal utilities. We get bored. It takes more and more to please us until we no longer even notice the pleasure or beauty within. This is what allows us to walk to our cars in the spring ignoring all of the blooming and budding flowers and trees, drive to work without noticing the sunrise painting the sky with indescribable beauty, and without being fascinated by the concept of driving (remember the first time you were behind the wheel?), or speaking, or music, or nature, or anything. We've experienced it before. It no longer adds any pleasure to our lives. I believe spiritually there is a plethora of caveats to this understanding... but one particularly has stuck in my mind intriguingly.

God does not change.

ever. eternally.

therefore, God does not experience diminishing marginal utility.

God experiences all of the initial joy and passion and pleasure and excitement of seeing a sunrise unceasingly, every time, without end, without diminishing returns, eternally... This God is actively involved in creation, He opens a flower in the morning and receives such joy and gladness that He races to the next flower in pure exhileration to experience the pleasure and joy and beauty again, and then to the next flower, and the next, and the next, experiencing the same joy, the same gladness, the same sense of pleasure and satisfaction continuously and infinitely, everyday. Every experience is essentially "new" to God. God’s heart does not harden, His senses do not dull, His mercy is new every morning. If you think about the implications, it is quite beautiful really.

I’ve heard skeptics question our enjoyment of heaven if we live eternally, and all we ever do is praise the Father for the Glory of His Grace, world without end... And yet, if the experience of diminishing marginal utilities did not exist, it would be absurd to question this. It's like receiving an ice cream cone every day, without the possibility of it getting old. Without getting "burnt out." The question I pose is this: do we experience diminishing marginal utility as a result of the Fall? or the result of our intrinsic make-up?

Further thoughts (though I'm more interested in yours):

For the case of it being a result of the Fall:
Many of our greatest problems present themselves because we grow weary of doing good.

Creation does not share in this flaw. Animals perform their daily tasks each day without ceasing and without question, almost robotic… Angels do as well, eternally proclaiming "Holy, Holy, Holy," and falling in response to the One who sits on the Throne.

Perhaps our description of “robotic” is a better description of our flaw then their monotony.

If a creature—such as a bee—is created with the sole task of pollinating a flower… and it performs that same rudimentary task day in and day out without experiencing diminishing marginal utility--content and satisfied every time--perhaps it is not a "lesser," robotic creature, but a creature content with fulfilling the purpose God endowed it with...

Trees grow. Birds sing. Angels sing "Holy Holy," eternally with no loss of satisfaction...

Nature is far more obedient than we are.

I would speculate—purely conjecturally—that before the Fall, we humans did not experience such diminishing marginal utility. I think it not dissatisfaction that led Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, but rather deception.

Perhaps it is this "disunion with God"--as Deitrich Bonhoeffer refers to our knowledge of good and evil--that planted this "boredom" within us.

I’m more inclined to think it an affect of the curse as we see that children do not experience it to the magnitude of adults. A baby will likely play peek-a-boo well beyond the tolerance of an adult, still giggling and screaming “again!” at each time the game is played.

Paul warns against it, "do not grow weary in doing good."

Oh, and we are created Imago Dei, in the image of our Creator, who does not grow weary, or tired, or bored (Isaiah 40) and who is immutable... which is perhaps the strongest evidence I can contrive for it being an effect of the curse.


For the case of it being endowed by God in our make up

Alternatively, perhaps the dissatisfaction with all that the world has to offer leads us to desire the more filling, everlasting, insatiable satisfaction of God Himself?

In this, it would be an innate a defense mechanism against idolatry. A sort of fingerprint of God--perhaps similar or part of "eternity in our hearts"--that keeps us longing for something better, something more until we find God.

This could be the experience of Solomon, who--after trying all the world has to offer and experiencing dissatisfaction--concluded “everything is meaningless.”
"everything" being all that is under the sun--that is to say, everything apart from God.

Thoughts?

...hooray

what a hurricane of a month... i haven't had time to look up.

my friend shawn is living out the resurrection and redemption of Christ in peru. i've linked to his blog where you can join him. amazing stories... amazing commitment. what would the world look like if everyone said "okay God, whatever you want me to do, wherever you want me to go--i'm there"?

go listen to the apprentice...

they played a ridiculously fun show friday, eric is absolutely insane and totally in love with Jesus...

"this is a song you can dance too... and all of you emo kids that are too insecure to have fun: the Lord loves you, and i do too... so you don't have to be insecure... if you're skinny, you can eat a burger... if you're fat, you can stop eating burgers and we can all give each other hugs and dance!"

if you live in indiana, check out his church. eric's the worship pastor, and from what i hear the teaching pastor is excellent...

so much to say so little time...

...feel i'm coming back to life

i hate to talk up pastors because i know they're just a conduit, and they're not looking for praise.

that said, the Ghost is flowing through francis chan...

i really needed to hear some fresh truth. it's difficult to keep oneself unstained from the world when you incessently breathe the pollution of American consumerism and church apathy. God reminded me of why i exist today, and i want to pour out my life as a drink-offering to Him and others whether anyone else follows or not.

alas, it would be grand to meet some fellow visionaries.

...sun

the sun rises and sets day after day, fulfilling its purpose without question, never trying to be the moon, never breaking, never rushing ahead...

i long to be that obedient to God.

...weekend.

I drove up to Morgantown on Friday night. It was a pretty successful trip, no speeding tickets, rabid moose attacks, or anything of the sort.

Keith and Chad came over Saturday and taught me how to do manly, repairman things like hanging drywall, fixing front doors and turn on flashlights.

Keith wrote instructions of my flashlight with a sharpie.

Keith thinks he is very clever :P

He wants to teach me how to snowboard, but that would involve me skipping class, taking off work some friday, and leaving all sense of responsibility. I think we're going next weekend.

Laura is God's tangible Grace, it was refreshing to have a weekend to hang out (and eat the most amazing foods this side of heaven).

Shane preached a message about how multitudes of people in John 6 only sought the "presents" of Jesus, but his true followers sought the "presence" of Jesus. It hit me pretty heavily because (1) both points not only started with the same letter, but also sounded exactly the same--which is pretty rad, and (2) because of the profundity of the statement. Jesus fed a lot of people, and they started following him like your stalker ex-girlfriend, but they were only interested in fish pancakes. When Jesus started talking about the heavy truth of what following him looks like, they all walked away. Except the twelve he had chosen (just as the twelve baskets of bread were all that was left of the food, sneaky, sneaky).

I don't follow Jesus for fish. But i think in difficult times it is sometimes easy to distance ourselves from Jesus and accuse Him of sinning against us for not healing our sick friend, fixing their marriage, or giving us whatever else we feel that we need. We hold him at a distance instead of realizing he came to give us himself. His presence. A reconciled relationship with the Father.

I love that His disciples didn't understand everything either. Jesus just turns away 25,000 disciples (which is really bad pr, btw), then looks at his twelve and says "are you out, too? " They're response is essentially, "well, we don't really get your whole cannibal speech either, and yeah, we'd kinda like to leave, but we think you're God, so we're in."

they stand firm on their beliefs, even when their feelings and thoughts are all over the map[2].

"God i believe, help my unbelief"

...my.life

the truth belongs to God; the mistakes, were mine...

...God's.advice

"Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial
religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special
meetings—meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!Meetings for this,
meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick
of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.When
you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the
other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll
not be listening.And do you know why? Because you've been
tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.Go home and wash
up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your
evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer. Say no to
wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out.
Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Stand up
for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless. "
--Isaiah 1:13-17

restless

i am so pumped, stoked, restless (insert your favorite adjectives meaning "rearing to go"), and ready to serve...

i'm exploding with passion to share the Gospel and i'm stuck behind a desk reconciling numbers...

numbers don't need reconciling.

people do.

this whole accounting thing is not working so hot.

God, i miss youth ministry...

...comfortable.christianity?

“Lord I cry, like so many times before, but my eyes, are dry before I leave the floor
This time Jesus how can I be sure, I will not lose my follow-through, between the altar and the door?[1]”

It profoundly disturbs me that we are even able to relate to this lyric. It blows me away that the idea of weak-, lukewarm, half-hearted commitment to Jesus Christ is “normal.” How many pastors in China resisting their governments and following Jesus, laying down their lives, risking their safety, their families, their homes, and their very lives could sing along? How many prisoners in chains for the gospel, being beaten and scourged and tortured day after day who find all of their sufficiency, all of their strength in Jesus Christ could say “boy, you know, it’s really hard for me to follow through”?

In 1st century, Caesar believed he was the son of God. There are inscriptions from that period which boast “hail Caesar, the only name given under heaven by which men must be saved.” The required public greeting was “Caesar is Lord!” Bottom line: worship Caeser, or die. When Jesus came on the scene He totally subverted this empire. The Christians went around boasting “Jesus is Lord,” and Paul actually stated in Roman court “Jesus Christ is the only name given under heaven by which men must be saved.” This belief was radical. It was treason. It was life-threatening. When Jesus called people to “believe” in Him, it was not an intellectual ascent to His existence (Satan “believes” in Jesus, but it’s not doing Him much good), it was about placing your LIFE into the hands of the One in whom you say you believe. It was about renouncing the worldly empire, and pledging your allegiance to the God of another kingdom, it was proclaiming “Jesus is Lord,” and declaring your citizenship to another country.

Following Jesus is so freaking easy in America. Just quote a prayer, buy a bracelet, and enjoy the god of comfort. Complete with feel-good, pithy clichés, greeting-card sermons, a clean conscious, free backrubs, and fire insurance at the end!

We don’t need another country. We’ve got a Christian nation.

“if Jesus had a church in [our town], mine would be bigger… I do not call people to the same level of commitment that Jesus Christ does[2]”

I’m thankful for America, but I’m disappointed with our response to freedom.

I’m terrified by our apathy. I’m afraid for most kids that grow up in church. It’s almost like hearing all the stories, speaking all the God-talk, and practicing all the “religion” for 16 years has actually inoculated them to Jesus Christ. Some of the core kids have grown up in church, say they love Jesus, only listen to “Christian” music, wear “Christian” clothes, have “Christian” friends, and want to be “youth ministers.” But Jesus Christ has not even remotely changed their life. You can spoon-feed them the Bible, you can disciple them, and they’ll follow you all through the Bible talking all the God-talk you want, but the second it’s up them? Nothing. “Have you read your Bible?” “No, I was too busy downloading porn, sleeping with my girlfriend, and listening to Christian music”

I love these kids to death, but I’m terrified that after five years of “growing in Christ,” they still have no desire for the Word, no desire for holiness, no interest in anything except playing “church.” There is zero personal ownership. Complete ennui. It disturbs me to ask how many Christians will lay their wwjd bracelets and Christian cds before the feet of Jesus proudly, only to hear “depart from Me, I never knew you.” How many people/churches buying into this “Christianity” that functions as an add-on to the same self-serving life, are convincing themselves they’re following Jesus, when they are really just wrapped up in self-affirming lies? “didn’t we do mighty works in Your name? didn’t we participate in every church Christmas play and force ourselves to ride the short-bus of Christian culture?”

Please know that I’m not throwing these thoughts around to be judgmental of any specific peoples or churches, I’m mulling it over in conviction of my own heart, to understand the implications of this culture in my teaching, my preaching, and my life… that is my prayer for all of us.

I wrote this in my journal 12/28/2006, when all of this started to weigh on me…

3.) I desire *authentic* faith (only received through suffering (1 peter)) (We pray for the alleviation of suffering by Christians in third-world countries. They pray for our persecution. I think maybe they have the right idea.)

5.) I desire authentic, unblemished, untainted, ideal, unloosed, and original Christianity. Not weighted by humanity. Not weighted by commentary. Or my understanding. Or someone else's understanding. Or man-made rules. Or man-made liberties. Or the easy-life. Or individuality. Christianity not weighted by the American church. Or the 21 century. Or my doctrine. Or youth ministry. (and what is this? Personally, I'm still searching... and maybe that very action *is* the answer.)

Just as I was stepping away from youth ministry, this kid shows up that’s a total druggie, messed up family-life, never been to church… he came because he heard I listened to good music. Halfway through the service the kid’s bawling his eyes out and asking “what do I do to become a Christian?” I tell him about Jesus, he becomes a Christian, and goes back home. This kid has no Christian parents, no one speaking truth into his life, no good Christian friends, no discipling church, all his friends are druggies, and all he’s ever known are his addictions. I’m so used to church kids needing to be hounded to read their Bibles, rewarded with lollipops for good conduct, dragged to Jesus every step of the way, and still never making forward progress… Experientially, this kid is toast.

He calls me last night and he’s clean from drugs, cigs, and cursing, and he’s totally into reading the Bible… the kid started a Bible study at his school, and he was calling depressed because he’s struggling to overcome his anger and wants to know what the Bible says about it…

I am blown away by God’s grace upon grace… apparently the Holy Spirit is a better teacher than K-Love and youth group combined.

Comfort is the greatest enemy of faith.

God has been kicking me around about this all year…

I’ve realized I can convince just about any teenager to be a “Christian.” In the same manner, I can convince just about any teenager to listen to the same bands that I do. When it’s as easy as selecting “religion – Christian” on myspace, something is missing. It is not genuine. It is not real, authentic, God-honoring, Christ-exalting, self-denying faith.

Preach Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. Let the Holy Spirit do the convincing.

[1] Casting Crowns, Altar and the Door. No offense to Casting Crowns, I love this band, especially their lyrics.
[2] francis chan, catalyst

...repentance

listening to mark preach through genesis, and he was talking about jacob deceiving esau and then crying about it... i started thinking:

sorrow does not equal repentance.

this is a lesson i had not learned in my years of youth ministry.

on one occasion this kid came to me absolutely heart-broken and stressed out because he had gotten drunk and slept with some girl he didn’t even like. while he told me this he broke down sobbing uncontrollably because he was terrified she might be pregnant. i thought this was going to be the turning point in his life. he had always had a half-hearted commitment to Jesus Christ, and i remember thinking perhaps he was feeling conviction and ready to allow Christ to change his life. instead, he cried a bit, said “thanks, i feel better,” stopped coming to church, and started getting drunk every weekend.

i confused his anxiety for conviction. of course he was stressed out, he was a 14 year old kid scared his crap was going to catch up with him, his mom would find out, and he might have to take care of a baby. everyone who is guilty feels anxiety, not because they have hurt God, not because they are wicked and need repentance, but because they are afraid their sins will find them out.

many people are stressed out, depressed, and broken-hearted because they’re living in sin, but they have no intention of changing anything.

repentance involves conviction (God’s Word breaking your heart because of your sin), confession (agreeing with God’s word that you have sinned), repentance (putting a stake through your sin and walking away from it[1]), and restitution (making amends with those you’ve wronged)[2].

most people only ever make it half way.

“are you doing okay?”

“no, i got drunk last night, now i’m all stressed out because i can’t find my pants”

“the bible says that’s sin”

“yeah, i agree, i’m terrible”

“are you going to stop?”

“no, it’s going pretty good so far. there’s a sweet party this weekend and I’m feeling lucky”

perhaps the greatest regret of my youth ministry is calling kids to conviction, and even confession, without ever expecting repentance.

i think this is the problem with the american church’s “altar calls.”

essentially, preachers get their congregations all hopped up on this emotional high by making everyone feel conviction and feel like crap… then the last song is played and everyone comes forward, cries, prays, feels better, and leaves the church to go live like hell.

“after 11 verses of just as I am, everybody runs down the aisle just as they are, and leave the church just as they were[3]”

you don’t need Jesus to feel bad about yourself.

you need Jesus to repent.

[1] heard this in a shane suiter sermon

[2] mark driscoll has a hilarious bit on this at the end of his Nehemiah sermon “wealth and worship.”

[3] tony campolo overuse’s this line in most of his sermons

...in.the.light

God is Light.

we are born into darkness.

the dark cannot produce light. but the light shines on the darkness.

we run from the light, preferring the pleasures that can be pursued in the darkness.

we enjoy darkness with our finances, with our bodies, with our minds...

confess your faults one to another and pray for each other.

when we allow the light to shine in our darkness...

it exposes the sin and removes the shadows.

our brokenness allows the light to pour in.

seek the light.

"this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be pure and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." (phil. 1:9-11)

in greek, the word “pure” is “eilikrineiv.”

The second part of the word means judge, like when Jesus said “krineiv not that you be not krineiv”

The first part of the word, "eili" literally means the fullness of the light of the sun[1].

i think that is beautiful.

i think that is terrifying.

i want to live in such a way that all of the splendor of the sun can shine into every area of my life and there is nothing to judge, nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of.

in my finances, in my speech, in my mind, in my heart...

no shadows.

no darkness.

no worries.

just the Light.

[1]from rob bell's sermon, "abound."

...skate.or.die!

if you're interested in experiencing suicidal thoughts, i highly recommend studying advanced accounting and auditing for nine hours straight...

at 5pm dustin finally tore me away from the books and we hit up "area 51" (the newly reopened focus skatepark in charleston). i bought a new deck and skated for about 3 hours. thank you Jesus for skateboarding!

revelations while skating:

(1) dustin hall has more energy than a chihuahua on crack. he makes me feel like a 90 year old narcoleptic sloth. crazy teenagers...

(2) the clash are still great fun to skate to after twenty years.

(3) the radio still sucks.

(4) i am an old fart.

i have a new elbow, a rather large, oddly-shaped knot on my hip, and i can hardly walk. it was a good day...

...but i miss my fiance

though i'd lived i'd never been alive.
...i traveled blind listening to the whispering in my ear
soft but getting stronger
telling me the only purpose of my being here
is to stay a bit longer

let's go down, let's go down won't you come on down,
oh doubters, let's go down, down to the river to pray
"but I'm so small I can barely be seen
how can this great Love be inside of me?"
look at your eyes - they're small in size,
but they see enormous things.
oh, pretenders, let's go down, let's go down
won't you come on down, oh pretenders, lets go down,
down to the river and pray
"but i'm so afraid," or "i'm set in my ways"
but He'll make the rabbits and rocks sing His praise
"oh, but i'm so tired, i won't last long."
no, He’ll use the weak to overcome the strong!
oh, brothers, let's go down, down in the dirt, or the river to pray

you strike the match
why not be utterly changed to fire?
sacrifice the shadow and the mist of a brief life you never much liked
we hunger, but all that we eat brings us little relief
we don't know quite what else to do,
we have all our beliefs,
but we don't want our beliefs,
God of peace,
we want You.

--four word letter, mewithoutYou