today marks the second anniversary of my internship at National Government Services, Inc.... i've only got five work days left there, and i'm definately gonna miss the place.
as i was cleaning out my inbox i stumbled accross these thoughts throughout the last two years:
Man I'm going crazy cooped up in the busyness of life... it's like "the spirit of the sovereign lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the... keyboard... sent me to heal the broken... numbers? And break the chains of the... uh, desk." Yep, this is definitely my purpose...
Not in the subjectivity of our feelings, but in the objectivity of the cross, we were saved
I’ve been thinking about the youth a lot lately. It’s depressing :P I don’t know how Paul started churches and then left them in under a year… I don’t know how Jesus preached for three years and then left… I guess I must think I’m better than Jesus or Paul, because it is very difficult for me to say goodbye to people and not “nest” in their lives and try to help them forever. It is tempting for me to get discouraged (because of pride), when I see the kids struggling and doing stupid things. Like I must have totally failed and taught the wrong thing if after three years they still can’t keep their pants on and won’t read their Bibles. I’m tempted to think I’m the Holy Spirit, and I’m responsible not just for the proclamation of the message of Jesus, but also for the response. My pride thinks it would be nice to leave with a sense of “finality” or “completion,” or at least on a “good” note. I look at Jesus who ministered for three years, and ended up with 12 followers--one who killed himself, one who denied Him, and the other ten who were killed before ever pastoring a megachurch. Paul starts a church of 60 or so and leaves them to find a few years later they’re cross dressing, drunk, and one guy has his arm around his mom.
Perhaps that’s the reason for short-lived ministry… one day longer and you’d either be in a straight jacket poppin anti-depressant meds, or changing your name back to Saul and going old-testament on them. ;)
My biggest problem right now is probably self-absorption. It's easy to get passionate about how the national church is failing the poor--and we should, it's easy to get passionate about how many pastors are getting in the way of Jesus--and we should, but the world and the church's corruption is not the fault of someone else. There are times when *I* am indifferent to the cry of the oppressed... There are times when *I* preach my standards rather than Christ's, there are many times when *I* want *me* to be happy, or pleased, or fed at Applebee's more than I want the fatherless to have family, or the homeless to have anything to eat at all. I need to remember that *I* am the problem. And only by fixing what we can change--ourselves--can we truly make impact in the Kingdom.
God is all that matters...
When that one piece, if it’s okay… if it’s secure, then everything else is alright. No matter how miserable, no matter how unexpected, or how horribly or insecure or uncertain things seem… it’s like everything is okay.
When working so hard to make everything okay, to work so hard to be sure you’ve got all of your tracks covered and all of your paths straight, no matter how successful, no matter how proficient, no matter how well and perfect life is going… if that one piece is missing, then nothing is okay.
God is the only thing that matters. When you seek him, all that other stuff is taken care of.
He’s the only one that can enable you to enjoy that which you already have… no matter how much or how little “that” you’ve acquired.
Christians are like nails. The harder you hit them, the deeper they go
And when you are hammered, you rejoice… Rejoice not in the pain of the strike, but in the depth of its effect:
To be driven deeper into the Body of Christ…
(mark driscoll)
...when the kingdom of God comes… it comes with a love that breaks into the gates of hell and transforms the rejects, the addicts, the left outs, the not good enough, into the body of Christ… into the church…
I hope your school year is going well. I also hope you like okra. Because it is good for you. Okra. And school actually. They actually have a lot more in common than one would think.
If God has implanted seeds of change, the harvest will yield trees of the Kingdom.
In my opinion guilt only comes from people, satan, and the past. God brings only constructive conviction, a loving, sanctifying means of demonstrating His Grace, Fatherly Love, and Mercy.
I feel like every day, just waking up and praying Eph 2:12, what are the works You have prepared for me today? And then sitting back and watching as He opens my eyes to His plans, opens my heart to His people, and opens my ears to the cries of the oppressed...
We may not feel we have the strength to make it another week, another month, another year... but God only asks that we make it through the night, for His mercy and His strength are new with each morning.
“We cannot be a source of strength unless we nurture our own strength.” M. Scott Peck
“If you don’t do something differently, you’ll end up where you are headed.” Gary Koyen
--when everything revolves around You, then everything will be alright—
We will rewrite commentaries. We will never rewrite scripture.
It seems the Way of Jesus is not content to stagnate, but to flow throughout all of us and spill abundantly and exceedingly above all that we can contain and into the lives of others.
I’m much more inclined to be the instrument, not the instigator. The art. Not the artist.
Sometimes we need greater strength, but at other times we need a lighter load... Please try to seek a Sabbath as often as you can.
--God is not a drug, and he certainly does not make you feel better without becoming better-- (Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way)
There is no sweeter peace and no stronger bond then praying with a friend who is too weak and too broken to do so on his own.
Preach like a Baptist. Sleep like a Calvinist.
The doctrine of the infallibility of Scripture unfortunately includes “narrow is the path to life, but broad the way to destruction.”
The same sun that softens the mud hardens the clay.
I am glad God is not as religious as most pastors.
Conformity does not equal holiness.
There are so many songs we’ve left to sing that we haven’t even heard
There are so many words we’ve yet to say that we haven’t even learned
Never cease to dream
For through our dreams He speaks
And when He speaks this whole world feels a little more like home
So often in my life I have seen someone begin their journey with Christ and be instantly changed to fire. They love Jesus. They have a passion for their friends. They want to change the world. Then, they are told to focus that passion on conforming to the predetermined set of rules and regulations of a middle-class American, Caucasian, bath-robe Jesus. They're entire passion is expensed on what *not* to do, as if this earth is only an evil trial and the only purpose of a Christian life is to do enough "Christian" things and quit enough "wordly" things to gain God's favor so that when you die (their goal), you can be transported to some other-wordly spirit-realm and freed from the pain, struggle, and affliction of denying everything around you here on earth.
And their passion. is. vanquished.
If they are teens, they give up until they are old enough and apathetic enough and passionless enough to accept such a stoic religion.
If they are desperate, they expense all of their passion in hopeless endeavors of pleasing legalists.
...There was no mention of a church in the Bible. The word King James translated for "church" is "Ekklesia." It literally means "an assembly of people; a gathering," This is the church Jesus described as His body and began on His disciples. It is a body, not a building. A people, not a rule-book. A life, not a weekly service.
Imagine what would happen if new followers of Jesus were taught this truth. Imagine what might happen if people were crazy enough to believe the Way of Jesus was about joining others to redeem and createo culture, not run from it. To embrace creation, not suffer through it. To focus their passion on what Jesus can do through them, on eradicating poverty, on feeding the emaciated, on proper business practices, on loving people, on helping kids, on freeing the oppressed, on what Jesus *wants* to do *through* them by *his* power, instead of living their entire lives trying to *quit* enough bad things through their *own* power to please a Holy God who already sees them as righteous in *Christ* and could never be any more offended than by their attempts to save themselves through their own actions.
Maybe this sort of Ekklesia would change the world.
I have a hard time believing Jesus was destined to die for a church that sits within its four walls and sings songs praising their own safety while outside 25,000,000 human beings are being exploited and enslaved. I cannot accept Jesus redeeming a church to sing songs of their own redemption loud enough to drown out the cries of the oppressed. It became very difficult for me to sit comfortably and sing “He is Risen,” knowing there were teens under the bondage of addiction and children dying of starvation every 13 seconds. From my understanding, Jesus rose because He wants me to extend that same power and love to the nations—starting with the oppressed and emaciated.
I’ve come to the conclusion that hanging out with teenagers all weekend, staying up all night, drinking energy drinks, and skateboarding (or at least the slamming the concrete with your face part) makes you feel old after 20 ::nod::
The closer to God I get, the farther away I get from everything familiar.
I don’t think anyone truly wants a Jesus that simply fits into their messed up life. People need Jesus because their life sucks and they are seeking something totally different.
The teens are growing up. This is the first time I’ve ever done highschool ministry. I’ve lost some students. I’ve gained some friends.
My every blessing withers quickly passing in the wind
While my sins are far too lasting
I’ve amputated limbs,
It’s no good men, the beast lives within
No use severing infected members
When heart is pumping sludge
How can corpses plead for life?
Holy Spirit, call my name
Jesus Christ, propitiate
God the Father, look through me
And I will die as wheat
Deracinate my heart
Extirpate the whole of me
Nothing left to save
Best to start anew
Friday, May 30, 2008
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