i had a profusely important exam today at 4:00. i took off work a bit early and headed to the library to study and fell asleep on the couch around 3:15. i awoke to jessica yelling "why didn't you show up to take the exam today?!" i awoke in a mad frenzy and did my fair share of freaking out and wondering how life would work out homeless without a job or degree. then i noticed it was 3:30...
...jessica is not a very nice person :P
went skating with my boys--davis and blake--today... davis brought waffles and a toaster to the skatepark. oh, and just in case there was a shortage of electricity, he pre-nuked about 10 chocolate chip waffles and brought those in a tupperware container.
mike--whose real name is allegedly "brianna"--sat down next to me, looked down at the tupperware container, and looked back up at me...
"are those... waffles?"
"yep."
"suh-weeeet!"
heh, i'm definately gonna miss my crazy, weird, amazing friends when i move to mo-town. it was a killer skate session until davis rolled his ankle.
i think shawn and i are headed up to mo-town in the morning. shawn is going to be a lab-rat for drug testing and i am going to work on our place with my brothah, keith, all weekend.
i'll close with some random thoughts that came up with a friend about an angry neo-athiest philosopher:
If nothing greater than humanity existed, debate may be quite productive.
But the Bible is not about humanity, the Bible is about God.
Anyone can misquote scripture, pull some stuff out of context, and feel very intelligent and self-righteous about themselves.
I’m not interested in debate. Neither is God.
I’m interested in dealing with sin, and creating a new humanity.
--this teacher-- is not interested in dealing with sin, he’s interested in ignoring it.
I’m interested in loving, living, becoming a better person, and pleasing God with my life.
We’ve all sinned, we’re all dying, the world is broken… we all know this.
I’m interested in destroying sin, ending death, and healing the earth, and Jesus Christ is bringing that together quite beautifully, while --this teacher-- is fussing about why he’s not responsible for believing in God…
I’m not interested in some angst-filled old man ranting about how mean God is like a five year old throwing a tantrum about his dad that won’t let him eat ice cream for breakfast.
This debate offers nothing but an attitude that is egotistical. Selfish. Prideful. Angry.
It is about not seeking help. Is about not admitting our own brokenness. Is about not taking part in the healing of the world. It ignores every important issue in life that matters. I am more interested in feeding children without food… arguing that God does not exist does not fill their stomachs. I’m more interested in my friends who feel hopeless in bondage to alcohol and addictions to drugs… Jesus Christ is resurrection, redemption, renewel and freedom. That’s a gospel I believe in. Arguing God does not exist does not liberate my friends from their bondage or their depression. I’m more interested in a meaningful life. Jesus Christ is giving me a reason to live, a purpose to wake up in the morning that is larger than me or my ego. Arguing God does not exist casts the world into a meaningless fatalistic hopelessness. I believe in hope. I believe in resurrection. I believe in redemption. I believe humanity is going somewhere.
If you’re looking for “arguments” supporting the faith, check out “The Reason for God” by Dr. Timothy Keller. There is a plethora of resources available. But I’m not interested in those either, really… God is true. Jesus is true. Resurrection is true. Love is true. That is what I want my life to be about. Angst-filled human conjecture and opinion holds no answers for me. No truth, just pride.
Those conversations are destructive. They are one sided. They are hurtful.
The conversations point to a belief system. It appears rooted in anger, pride, and destructive lies. I do not see how those conversations are helping the world, advancing humanity, or solving sin problems, freeing those in bondage from their addictions, or feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, or giving justice to the weak and the oppressed. That belief system is not big enough for me, or God, or the rest of the world.
It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can doubt. But if we hunger for the truth, we should doubt our doubt. We should test and scrutinize and doubt our doubts just as intensely as we doubt our beliefs. Because our doubt is a belief system, and if it were true, we could bring it into the light and call it what it is, call it truth, and show it as beautiful and meaningful and life changing. But doubts do not hold up to the beauty and the truth of redemption and resurrection and new life and freedom and love and justice that Jesus Christ embodies.
If you doubt God’s love, then you must prove it and test it. And when I look at the times He has given me life when I should have been dead. When he has freed me from addictions. When he has healed broken marriages. When he has given hope and peace to those who have none. When he has given life abundantly. When I look at my friends and my life and the beauty of the sky and the warmth of the sun… and ultimately when I look at the Cross upon which He suffered for all of humanity, I see His love. I see His truth. I see beauty. I see resurrection. I see life.
And the truth of Jesus Christ pulls a Chuck Norris on my doubt, because there is no “doubt” in my mind that Jesus Christ loves me. My entire life has been a tragedy that he is speaking joy into. He has endlessly, relentlessly pursued me while I've tried to give him the finger and run to the hell of my own destruction.
I have experienced hate and anger and pride and addiction. I do not enjoy them. They leave me enslaved. Depressed. Meaningless. Hopeless. And they do nothing for the rest of the world. They add nothing to beauty, to creativity, to music, to art, to love, to community, to everything that is of God.
I believe in resurrection. I believe in life. I believe in love. I have experienced all of these things. And I enjoy them. I trust them. I have faith in them. I have faith in Jesus Christ.
I have a faith that is going somewhere. I know a God that is up to something in the world. I live a life that is full of undeserved, indescribable joy even in the midst of suffering.
I believe in God.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
...homemade.spring.break
i had an interview on thursday, so i took off work thursday and friday... after maquesting the location, i realized the commute would be unreasonable, so i hit up coonskin and skated for two or three... i'm pretty sure the tomb is empty, because the weather was like heaven...
i drove back home around 1, got restless in under five minutes because the sun was still casting its tempting rays. picked up zach m. and went back to the skin for three or four hours... it was definately chill to skate w/ my old friends zach and billy again. i'm gonna miss the locals around here for sure.
oh, and my 14 year old dream came true thursday: a skate shop asked to sponsor me. brilliant timing what with being old and moving to morgantown and all...
so brad called me late that night and said he, andrew, and their friend zach were going to the columbus mac store to pick up a macbook. we left around 9am, returned around 3am... good times, good music, great friends.
my beautiful fiance is in today for her bridal shower. afterwards we're definately gonna hit up the skate park, grab some coffee, and enjoy the day. i told billy i wouldn't be skating saturday, "my fiance's bridal shower is that morning." he asked me who was getting married...
i'm facing severe aversion to all things school-related this weekend.
call me if you want to help me avoid studying 550.7449.
focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming
they aren't coming for us
we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out
in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails
--this is it, this is it; as cities burn
i drove back home around 1, got restless in under five minutes because the sun was still casting its tempting rays. picked up zach m. and went back to the skin for three or four hours... it was definately chill to skate w/ my old friends zach and billy again. i'm gonna miss the locals around here for sure.
oh, and my 14 year old dream came true thursday: a skate shop asked to sponsor me. brilliant timing what with being old and moving to morgantown and all...
so brad called me late that night and said he, andrew, and their friend zach were going to the columbus mac store to pick up a macbook. we left around 9am, returned around 3am... good times, good music, great friends.
my beautiful fiance is in today for her bridal shower. afterwards we're definately gonna hit up the skate park, grab some coffee, and enjoy the day. i told billy i wouldn't be skating saturday, "my fiance's bridal shower is that morning." he asked me who was getting married...
i'm facing severe aversion to all things school-related this weekend.
call me if you want to help me avoid studying 550.7449.
focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming
they aren't coming for us
we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out
in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails
--this is it, this is it; as cities burn
Monday, April 7, 2008
...economics.of.God
The paradigm of diminishing marginal utilities states that for every additional unit consumed, marginal utility, or pleasure, decreases at a increasing rate.
For example, you’re wandering through the desert for two weeks without any food to eat, starving, and emaciated when there, on the horizon, is a glorious pizza hut. The manager notices your emaciation and quickly changes the prices, one slice of pizza = $25. You’re starving, you don’t care, $25 is nothing to pay for pizza… so you eat your slice and still you are hungry… but you're not hungry enough to pay $25... for the next piece you'll pay $20... the next maybe $10... after three pieces you're not really hungry enough to pay $10 a slice, but maybe $3. after another three slices you're actually getting tired of pizza, but he lowers the price to $1, so another two slices are consumed... at some point, the margin of utitlity becomes so small that the manager could offer you free pizza, and you would not oblige.
The pleasure received from one incrimental unit diminishes increasingly as more unites are consumed... Other obvious practical examples include drug addictions (it takes more and more to get you high), roller coaster rides (it's not worth waiting three hours in line after the second time through), and even your favorite song (if placed on repeat for six hours, it will diminish from being joy-inducing to torture--which btw is why the radio sucks ;) ).
Every experience in life is subject to diminishing marginal utilities. We get bored. It takes more and more to please us until we no longer even notice the pleasure or beauty within. This is what allows us to walk to our cars in the spring ignoring all of the blooming and budding flowers and trees, drive to work without noticing the sunrise painting the sky with indescribable beauty, and without being fascinated by the concept of driving (remember the first time you were behind the wheel?), or speaking, or music, or nature, or anything. We've experienced it before. It no longer adds any pleasure to our lives. I believe spiritually there is a plethora of caveats to this understanding... but one particularly has stuck in my mind intriguingly.
God does not change.
ever. eternally.
therefore, God does not experience diminishing marginal utility.
God experiences all of the initial joy and passion and pleasure and excitement of seeing a sunrise unceasingly, every time, without end, without diminishing returns, eternally... This God is actively involved in creation, He opens a flower in the morning and receives such joy and gladness that He races to the next flower in pure exhileration to experience the pleasure and joy and beauty again, and then to the next flower, and the next, and the next, experiencing the same joy, the same gladness, the same sense of pleasure and satisfaction continuously and infinitely, everyday. Every experience is essentially "new" to God. God’s heart does not harden, His senses do not dull, His mercy is new every morning. If you think about the implications, it is quite beautiful really.
I’ve heard skeptics question our enjoyment of heaven if we live eternally, and all we ever do is praise the Father for the Glory of His Grace, world without end... And yet, if the experience of diminishing marginal utilities did not exist, it would be absurd to question this. It's like receiving an ice cream cone every day, without the possibility of it getting old. Without getting "burnt out." The question I pose is this: do we experience diminishing marginal utility as a result of the Fall? or the result of our intrinsic make-up?
Further thoughts (though I'm more interested in yours):
For the case of it being a result of the Fall:
Many of our greatest problems present themselves because we grow weary of doing good.
Creation does not share in this flaw. Animals perform their daily tasks each day without ceasing and without question, almost robotic… Angels do as well, eternally proclaiming "Holy, Holy, Holy," and falling in response to the One who sits on the Throne.
Perhaps our description of “robotic” is a better description of our flaw then their monotony.
If a creature—such as a bee—is created with the sole task of pollinating a flower… and it performs that same rudimentary task day in and day out without experiencing diminishing marginal utility--content and satisfied every time--perhaps it is not a "lesser," robotic creature, but a creature content with fulfilling the purpose God endowed it with...
Trees grow. Birds sing. Angels sing "Holy Holy," eternally with no loss of satisfaction...
Nature is far more obedient than we are.
I would speculate—purely conjecturally—that before the Fall, we humans did not experience such diminishing marginal utility. I think it not dissatisfaction that led Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, but rather deception.
Perhaps it is this "disunion with God"--as Deitrich Bonhoeffer refers to our knowledge of good and evil--that planted this "boredom" within us.
I’m more inclined to think it an affect of the curse as we see that children do not experience it to the magnitude of adults. A baby will likely play peek-a-boo well beyond the tolerance of an adult, still giggling and screaming “again!” at each time the game is played.
Paul warns against it, "do not grow weary in doing good."
Oh, and we are created Imago Dei, in the image of our Creator, who does not grow weary, or tired, or bored (Isaiah 40) and who is immutable... which is perhaps the strongest evidence I can contrive for it being an effect of the curse.
For the case of it being endowed by God in our make up
Alternatively, perhaps the dissatisfaction with all that the world has to offer leads us to desire the more filling, everlasting, insatiable satisfaction of God Himself?
In this, it would be an innate a defense mechanism against idolatry. A sort of fingerprint of God--perhaps similar or part of "eternity in our hearts"--that keeps us longing for something better, something more until we find God.
This could be the experience of Solomon, who--after trying all the world has to offer and experiencing dissatisfaction--concluded “everything is meaningless.”
"everything" being all that is under the sun--that is to say, everything apart from God.
Thoughts?
For example, you’re wandering through the desert for two weeks without any food to eat, starving, and emaciated when there, on the horizon, is a glorious pizza hut. The manager notices your emaciation and quickly changes the prices, one slice of pizza = $25. You’re starving, you don’t care, $25 is nothing to pay for pizza… so you eat your slice and still you are hungry… but you're not hungry enough to pay $25... for the next piece you'll pay $20... the next maybe $10... after three pieces you're not really hungry enough to pay $10 a slice, but maybe $3. after another three slices you're actually getting tired of pizza, but he lowers the price to $1, so another two slices are consumed... at some point, the margin of utitlity becomes so small that the manager could offer you free pizza, and you would not oblige.
The pleasure received from one incrimental unit diminishes increasingly as more unites are consumed... Other obvious practical examples include drug addictions (it takes more and more to get you high), roller coaster rides (it's not worth waiting three hours in line after the second time through), and even your favorite song (if placed on repeat for six hours, it will diminish from being joy-inducing to torture--which btw is why the radio sucks ;) ).
Every experience in life is subject to diminishing marginal utilities. We get bored. It takes more and more to please us until we no longer even notice the pleasure or beauty within. This is what allows us to walk to our cars in the spring ignoring all of the blooming and budding flowers and trees, drive to work without noticing the sunrise painting the sky with indescribable beauty, and without being fascinated by the concept of driving (remember the first time you were behind the wheel?), or speaking, or music, or nature, or anything. We've experienced it before. It no longer adds any pleasure to our lives. I believe spiritually there is a plethora of caveats to this understanding... but one particularly has stuck in my mind intriguingly.
God does not change.
ever. eternally.
therefore, God does not experience diminishing marginal utility.
God experiences all of the initial joy and passion and pleasure and excitement of seeing a sunrise unceasingly, every time, without end, without diminishing returns, eternally... This God is actively involved in creation, He opens a flower in the morning and receives such joy and gladness that He races to the next flower in pure exhileration to experience the pleasure and joy and beauty again, and then to the next flower, and the next, and the next, experiencing the same joy, the same gladness, the same sense of pleasure and satisfaction continuously and infinitely, everyday. Every experience is essentially "new" to God. God’s heart does not harden, His senses do not dull, His mercy is new every morning. If you think about the implications, it is quite beautiful really.
I’ve heard skeptics question our enjoyment of heaven if we live eternally, and all we ever do is praise the Father for the Glory of His Grace, world without end... And yet, if the experience of diminishing marginal utilities did not exist, it would be absurd to question this. It's like receiving an ice cream cone every day, without the possibility of it getting old. Without getting "burnt out." The question I pose is this: do we experience diminishing marginal utility as a result of the Fall? or the result of our intrinsic make-up?
Further thoughts (though I'm more interested in yours):
For the case of it being a result of the Fall:
Many of our greatest problems present themselves because we grow weary of doing good.
Creation does not share in this flaw. Animals perform their daily tasks each day without ceasing and without question, almost robotic… Angels do as well, eternally proclaiming "Holy, Holy, Holy," and falling in response to the One who sits on the Throne.
Perhaps our description of “robotic” is a better description of our flaw then their monotony.
If a creature—such as a bee—is created with the sole task of pollinating a flower… and it performs that same rudimentary task day in and day out without experiencing diminishing marginal utility--content and satisfied every time--perhaps it is not a "lesser," robotic creature, but a creature content with fulfilling the purpose God endowed it with...
Trees grow. Birds sing. Angels sing "Holy Holy," eternally with no loss of satisfaction...
Nature is far more obedient than we are.
I would speculate—purely conjecturally—that before the Fall, we humans did not experience such diminishing marginal utility. I think it not dissatisfaction that led Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, but rather deception.
Perhaps it is this "disunion with God"--as Deitrich Bonhoeffer refers to our knowledge of good and evil--that planted this "boredom" within us.
I’m more inclined to think it an affect of the curse as we see that children do not experience it to the magnitude of adults. A baby will likely play peek-a-boo well beyond the tolerance of an adult, still giggling and screaming “again!” at each time the game is played.
Paul warns against it, "do not grow weary in doing good."
Oh, and we are created Imago Dei, in the image of our Creator, who does not grow weary, or tired, or bored (Isaiah 40) and who is immutable... which is perhaps the strongest evidence I can contrive for it being an effect of the curse.
For the case of it being endowed by God in our make up
Alternatively, perhaps the dissatisfaction with all that the world has to offer leads us to desire the more filling, everlasting, insatiable satisfaction of God Himself?
In this, it would be an innate a defense mechanism against idolatry. A sort of fingerprint of God--perhaps similar or part of "eternity in our hearts"--that keeps us longing for something better, something more until we find God.
This could be the experience of Solomon, who--after trying all the world has to offer and experiencing dissatisfaction--concluded “everything is meaningless.”
"everything" being all that is under the sun--that is to say, everything apart from God.
Thoughts?
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