Wednesday, February 27, 2008

...God's.advice

"Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial
religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special
meetings—meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!Meetings for this,
meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out! I'm sick
of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.When
you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the
other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll
not be listening.And do you know why? Because you've been
tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.Go home and wash
up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your
evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer. Say no to
wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out.
Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Stand up
for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless. "
--Isaiah 1:13-17

Monday, February 18, 2008

restless

i am so pumped, stoked, restless (insert your favorite adjectives meaning "rearing to go"), and ready to serve...

i'm exploding with passion to share the Gospel and i'm stuck behind a desk reconciling numbers...

numbers don't need reconciling.

people do.

this whole accounting thing is not working so hot.

God, i miss youth ministry...

Friday, February 15, 2008

...comfortable.christianity?

“Lord I cry, like so many times before, but my eyes, are dry before I leave the floor
This time Jesus how can I be sure, I will not lose my follow-through, between the altar and the door?[1]


It profoundly disturbs me that we are even able to relate to this lyric. It blows me away that the idea of weak-, lukewarm, half-hearted commitment to Jesus Christ is “normal.” How many pastors in China resisting their governments and following Jesus, laying down their lives, risking their safety, their families, their homes, and their very lives could sing along? How many prisoners in chains for the gospel, being beaten and scourged and tortured day after day who find all of their sufficiency, all of their strength in Jesus Christ could say “boy, you know, it’s really hard for me to follow through”?

In 1st century, Caesar believed he was the son of God. There are inscriptions from that period which boast “hail Caesar, the only name given under heaven by which men must be saved.” The required public greeting was “Caesar is Lord!” Bottom line: worship Caeser, or die. When Jesus came on the scene He totally subverted this empire. The Christians went around boasting “Jesus is Lord,” and Paul actually stated in Roman court “Jesus Christ is the only name given under heaven by which men must be saved.” This belief was radical. It was treason. It was life-threatening. When Jesus called people to “believe” in Him, it was not an intellectual ascent to His existence (Satan “believes” in Jesus, but it’s not doing Him much good), it was about placing your LIFE into the hands of the One in whom you say you believe. It was about renouncing the worldly empire, and pledging your allegiance to the God of another kingdom, it was proclaiming “Jesus is Lord,” and declaring your citizenship to another country.

Following Jesus is so freaking easy in America. Just quote a prayer, buy a bracelet, and enjoy the god of comfort. Complete with feel-good, pithy clichés, greeting-card sermons, a clean conscious, free backrubs, and fire insurance at the end!

We don’t need another country. We’ve got a Christian nation.

“if Jesus had a church in [our town], mine would be bigger… I do not call people to the same level of commitment that Jesus Christ does[2]

I’m thankful for America, but I’m disappointed with our response to freedom.

I’m terrified by our apathy. I’m afraid for most kids that grow up in church. It’s almost like hearing all the stories, speaking all the God-talk, and practicing all the “religion” for 16 years has actually inoculated them to Jesus Christ. Some of the core kids have grown up in church, say they love Jesus, only listen to “Christian” music, wear “Christian” clothes, have “Christian” friends, and want to be “youth ministers.” But Jesus Christ has not even remotely changed their life. You can spoon-feed them the Bible, you can disciple them, and they’ll follow you all through the Bible talking all the God-talk you want, but the second it’s up them? Nothing. “Have you read your Bible?” “No, I was too busy downloading porn, sleeping with my girlfriend, and listening to Christian music”

I love these kids to death, but I’m terrified that after five years of “growing in Christ,” they still have no desire for the Word, no desire for holiness, no interest in anything except playing “church.” There is zero personal ownership. Complete ennui. It disturbs me to ask how many Christians will lay their wwjd bracelets and Christian cds before the feet of Jesus proudly, only to hear “depart from Me, I never knew you.” How many people/churches buying into this “Christianity” that functions as an add-on to the same self-serving life, are convincing themselves they’re following Jesus, when they are really just wrapped up in self-affirming lies? “didn’t we do mighty works in Your name? didn’t we participate in every church Christmas play and force ourselves to ride the short-bus of Christian culture?”

Please know that I’m not throwing these thoughts around to be judgmental of any specific peoples or churches, I’m mulling it over in conviction of my own heart, to understand the implications of this culture in my teaching, my preaching, and my life… that is my prayer for all of us.

I wrote this in my journal 12/28/2006, when all of this started to weigh on me…

3.) I desire *authentic* faith (only received through suffering (1 peter)) (We pray for the alleviation of suffering by Christians in third-world countries. They pray for our persecution. I think maybe they have the right idea.)

5.) I desire authentic, unblemished, untainted, ideal, unloosed, and original Christianity. Not weighted by humanity. Not weighted by commentary. Or my understanding. Or someone else's understanding. Or man-made rules. Or man-made liberties. Or the easy-life. Or individuality. Christianity not weighted by the American church. Or the 21 century. Or my doctrine. Or youth ministry. (and what is this? Personally, I'm still searching... and maybe that very action *is* the answer.)


Just as I was stepping away from youth ministry, this kid shows up that’s a total druggie, messed up family-life, never been to church… he came because he heard I listened to good music. Halfway through the service the kid’s bawling his eyes out and asking “what do I do to become a Christian?” I tell him about Jesus, he becomes a Christian, and goes back home. This kid has no Christian parents, no one speaking truth into his life, no good Christian friends, no discipling church, all his friends are druggies, and all he’s ever known are his addictions. I’m so used to church kids needing to be hounded to read their Bibles, rewarded with lollipops for good conduct, dragged to Jesus every step of the way, and still never making forward progress… Experientially, this kid is toast.

He calls me last night and he’s clean from drugs, cigs, and cursing, and he’s totally into reading the Bible… the kid started a Bible study at his school, and he was calling depressed because he’s struggling to overcome his anger and wants to know what the Bible says about it…

I am blown away by God’s grace upon grace… apparently the Holy Spirit is a better teacher than K-Love and youth group combined.

Comfort is the greatest enemy of faith.

God has been kicking me around about this all year…

I’ve realized I can convince just about any teenager to be a “Christian.” In the same manner, I can convince just about any teenager to listen to the same bands that I do. When it’s as easy as selecting “religion – Christian” on myspace, something is missing. It is not genuine. It is not real, authentic, God-honoring, Christ-exalting, self-denying faith.

Preach Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. Let the Holy Spirit do the convincing.

[1] Casting Crowns, Altar and the Door. No offense to Casting Crowns, I love this band, especially their lyrics.
[2] francis chan, catalyst

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

...repentance

listening to mark preach through genesis, and he was talking about jacob deceiving esau and then crying about it... i started thinking:

sorrow does not equal repentance.

this is a lesson i had not learned in my years of youth ministry.

on one occasion this kid came to me absolutely heart-broken and stressed out because he had gotten drunk and slept with some girl he didn’t even like. while he told me this he broke down sobbing uncontrollably because he was terrified she might be pregnant. i thought this was going to be the turning point in his life. he had always had a half-hearted commitment to Jesus Christ, and i remember thinking perhaps he was feeling conviction and ready to allow Christ to change his life. instead, he cried a bit, said “thanks, i feel better,” stopped coming to church, and started getting drunk every weekend.

i confused his anxiety for conviction. of course he was stressed out, he was a 14 year old kid scared his crap was going to catch up with him, his mom would find out, and he might have to take care of a baby. everyone who is guilty feels anxiety, not because they have hurt God, not because they are wicked and need repentance, but because they are afraid their sins will find them out.

many people are stressed out, depressed, and broken-hearted because they’re living in sin, but they have no intention of changing anything.

repentance involves conviction (God’s Word breaking your heart because of your sin), confession (agreeing with God’s word that you have sinned), repentance (putting a stake through your sin and walking away from it[1]), and restitution (making amends with those you’ve wronged)[2].

most people only ever make it half way.

“are you doing okay?”

“no, i got drunk last night, now i’m all stressed out because i can’t find my pants”

“the bible says that’s sin”

“yeah, i agree, i’m terrible”

“are you going to stop?”

“no, it’s going pretty good so far. there’s a sweet party this weekend and I’m feeling lucky”

perhaps the greatest regret of my youth ministry is calling kids to conviction, and even confession, without ever expecting repentance.

i think this is the problem with the american church’s “altar calls.”

essentially, preachers get their congregations all hopped up on this emotional high by making everyone feel conviction and feel like crap… then the last song is played and everyone comes forward, cries, prays, feels better, and leaves the church to go live like hell.

“after 11 verses of just as I am, everybody runs down the aisle just as they are, and leave the church just as they were[3]

you don’t need Jesus to feel bad about yourself.

you need Jesus to repent.

[1] heard this in a shane suiter sermon

[2] mark driscoll has a hilarious bit on this at the end of his Nehemiah sermon “wealth and worship.”

[3] tony campolo overuse’s this line in most of his sermons

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

...in.the.light

God is Light.

we are born into darkness.

the dark cannot produce light. but the light shines on the darkness.

we run from the light, preferring the pleasures that can be pursued in the darkness.

we enjoy darkness with our finances, with our bodies, with our minds...

confess your faults one to another and pray for each other.

when we allow the light to shine in our darkness...

it exposes the sin and removes the shadows.

our brokenness allows the light to pour in.

seek the light.

"this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be pure and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." (phil. 1:9-11)

in greek, the word “pure” is “eilikrineiv.”

The second part of the word means judge, like when Jesus said “krineiv not that you be not krineiv”

The first part of the word, "eili" literally means the fullness of the light of the sun[1].

i think that is beautiful.

i think that is terrifying.

i want to live in such a way that all of the splendor of the sun can shine into every area of my life and there is nothing to judge, nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of.

in my finances, in my speech, in my mind, in my heart...

no shadows.

no darkness.

no worries.

just the Light.

[1]from rob bell's sermon, "abound."

Sunday, February 10, 2008

...skate.or.die!

if you're interested in experiencing suicidal thoughts, i highly recommend studying advanced accounting and auditing for nine hours straight...

at 5pm dustin finally tore me away from the books and we hit up "area 51" (the newly reopened focus skatepark in charleston). i bought a new deck and skated for about 3 hours. thank you Jesus for skateboarding!

revelations while skating:

(1) dustin hall has more energy than a chihuahua on crack. he makes me feel like a 90 year old narcoleptic sloth. crazy teenagers...

(2) the clash are still great fun to skate to after twenty years.

(3) the radio still sucks.

(4) i am an old fart.

i have a new elbow, a rather large, oddly-shaped knot on my hip, and i can hardly walk. it was a good day...

...but i miss my fiance

though i'd lived i'd never been alive.
...i traveled blind listening to the whispering in my ear
soft but getting stronger
telling me the only purpose of my being here
is to stay a bit longer

let's go down, let's go down won't you come on down,
oh doubters, let's go down, down to the river to pray
"but I'm so small I can barely be seen
how can this great Love be inside of me?"
look at your eyes - they're small in size,
but they see enormous things.
oh, pretenders, let's go down, let's go down
won't you come on down, oh pretenders, lets go down,
down to the river and pray
"but i'm so afraid," or "i'm set in my ways"
but He'll make the rabbits and rocks sing His praise
"oh, but i'm so tired, i won't last long."
no, He’ll use the weak to overcome the strong!
oh, brothers, let's go down, down in the dirt, or the river to pray

you strike the match
why not be utterly changed to fire?
sacrifice the shadow and the mist of a brief life you never much liked
we hunger, but all that we eat brings us little relief
we don't know quite what else to do,
we have all our beliefs,
but we don't want our beliefs,
God of peace,
we want You.


--four word letter, mewithoutYou

Saturday, February 9, 2008

...mewithoutYou

two steps to being the greatest band of all time:

(1) let this guy write your lyrics:





(2) sing this song:



aaron speaks with such authentic humility and honesty...

i would like that.


if i'm a crown without a king,
if i'm a broken open seed,
if i come without a thing,

then i come with all i need

i
do
not
exist
only
YOU
exist


--sweater poorly knit, mewithoutYou

Thursday, February 7, 2008

...wrath.is.bad.marketing

"i will be so pissed if i get to heaven and the same stupid crap that
happens here happens there. i long for the day when it comes to an end--when
there's no more sin, no more sinners... some of you think everyone should get to
go to heaven. you're a hypocrite if you have a door on your house. you think God
should let everyone in his house but you won't let everyone in your house. the
reason you have a door and a lock and a gun and a cop and 911 on speed dial is
because though you're a hypocrite, you're still fairly sharp. you know that not
everyone is good and you don't want to hang out with everyone."

--mark drisoll, the revelation of Jesus' feasts


as i read revelation and see the winepress of God's wrath, the birds feasting on God's enemies, and Jesus Christ watching them burn eternally, i was struck by how different God is from the limp-wristed, richard simmons stand-in Jesus that most preachers are teaching about...

i think most of the time we try to be God's PR agent...

focusing on His love, mercy, and grace, but failing to mention His "unattractive" attributes of justice, holiness, and wrath...

i wonder how offensive this must be to God.

it's like showing up at a party with a friend and they hand you a paper bag before you go in, "here, put this over your face."

"what the-- why?"

"well, they won't like your face. it's offensive. we'll just cover up that part out so people will like you."

i am sometimes tempted to only show a little piece of God... then, after they like the parts that are pretty, i can slowly pull off the paper bag.

the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge (proverbs 1:7).

"yeah, but what does fear mean in the hebrew?"

fear.

we fear bugs.

we fear the dark.

we fear thunderstorms.

we fear terrorists.

we fear uncool.

do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. but i will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. yes, i tell you, fear him! (luke 12:4-5)

perhaps God intends for us to love Him. completely.

not just the parts of Him that sound like dr. phil.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

...grace.and.loans

my friend applied for a student loan this week to pay for rent and food and video games while he’s in college. he was denied the loan because he doesn’t have a job. he said he told them, “if I had a (dang) job, I wouldn’t need a loan!”

i think he has a good point.

my friend needs the loan, so he can get through college, so he can procure a job.

a lot of religious people follow that same destructive logic in relating to God.

if you’re good enough, then God will give you grace…

the issue is, if we were good, why would we need grace?

paul says while we were sinners, Christ died for us (rom 5:8).

isn’t that the definition of grace?

i’m really thankful Jesus does not base His acceptance of us on our ability to do good. i’m glad God does not give grace only to those who deserve it.

“we’re all sinking for our sins, unless grace be the wind in our sails[1]”

without Jesus, we can do no good (rom. 3:12).

the saving grace of Jesus Christ is extended to us in our depravity, and the empowering grace of Jesus enables us to then do good (eph 2:10).

if i had a job, i wouldn't need a loan.

if i were good, i wouldn’t need grace.


[1] “this is it,” by as cities burn