...repentance

listening to mark preach through genesis, and he was talking about jacob deceiving esau and then crying about it... i started thinking:

sorrow does not equal repentance.

this is a lesson i had not learned in my years of youth ministry.

on one occasion this kid came to me absolutely heart-broken and stressed out because he had gotten drunk and slept with some girl he didn’t even like. while he told me this he broke down sobbing uncontrollably because he was terrified she might be pregnant. i thought this was going to be the turning point in his life. he had always had a half-hearted commitment to Jesus Christ, and i remember thinking perhaps he was feeling conviction and ready to allow Christ to change his life. instead, he cried a bit, said “thanks, i feel better,” stopped coming to church, and started getting drunk every weekend.

i confused his anxiety for conviction. of course he was stressed out, he was a 14 year old kid scared his crap was going to catch up with him, his mom would find out, and he might have to take care of a baby. everyone who is guilty feels anxiety, not because they have hurt God, not because they are wicked and need repentance, but because they are afraid their sins will find them out.

many people are stressed out, depressed, and broken-hearted because they’re living in sin, but they have no intention of changing anything.

repentance involves conviction (God’s Word breaking your heart because of your sin), confession (agreeing with God’s word that you have sinned), repentance (putting a stake through your sin and walking away from it[1]), and restitution (making amends with those you’ve wronged)[2].

most people only ever make it half way.

“are you doing okay?”

“no, i got drunk last night, now i’m all stressed out because i can’t find my pants”

“the bible says that’s sin”

“yeah, i agree, i’m terrible”

“are you going to stop?”

“no, it’s going pretty good so far. there’s a sweet party this weekend and I’m feeling lucky”

perhaps the greatest regret of my youth ministry is calling kids to conviction, and even confession, without ever expecting repentance.

i think this is the problem with the american church’s “altar calls.”

essentially, preachers get their congregations all hopped up on this emotional high by making everyone feel conviction and feel like crap… then the last song is played and everyone comes forward, cries, prays, feels better, and leaves the church to go live like hell.

“after 11 verses of just as I am, everybody runs down the aisle just as they are, and leave the church just as they were[3]”

you don’t need Jesus to feel bad about yourself.

you need Jesus to repent.

[1] heard this in a shane suiter sermon

[2] mark driscoll has a hilarious bit on this at the end of his Nehemiah sermon “wealth and worship.”

[3] tony campolo overuse’s this line in most of his sermons