i had an interview on thursday, so i took off work thursday and friday... after maquesting the location, i realized the commute would be unreasonable, so i hit up coonskin and skated for two or three... i'm pretty sure the tomb is empty, because the weather was like heaven...
i drove back home around 1, got restless in under five minutes because the sun was still casting its tempting rays. picked up zach m. and went back to the skin for three or four hours... it was definately chill to skate w/ my old friends zach and billy again. i'm gonna miss the locals around here for sure.
oh, and my 14 year old dream came true thursday: a skate shop asked to sponsor me. brilliant timing what with being old and moving to morgantown and all...
so brad called me late that night and said he, andrew, and their friend zach were going to the columbus mac store to pick up a macbook. we left around 9am, returned around 3am... good times, good music, great friends.
my beautiful fiance is in today for her bridal shower. afterwards we're definately gonna hit up the skate park, grab some coffee, and enjoy the day. i told billy i wouldn't be skating saturday, "my fiance's bridal shower is that morning." he asked me who was getting married...
i'm facing severe aversion to all things school-related this weekend.
call me if you want to help me avoid studying 550.7449.
focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming
they aren't coming for us
we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out
in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war against
son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails
--this is it, this is it; as cities burn
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
...economics.of.God
The paradigm of diminishing marginal utilities states that for every additional unit consumed, marginal utility, or pleasure, decreases at a increasing rate.
For example, you’re wandering through the desert for two weeks without any food to eat, starving, and emaciated when there, on the horizon, is a glorious pizza hut. The manager notices your emaciation and quickly changes the prices, one slice of pizza = $25. You’re starving, you don’t care, $25 is nothing to pay for pizza… so you eat your slice and still you are hungry… but you're not hungry enough to pay $25... for the next piece you'll pay $20... the next maybe $10... after three pieces you're not really hungry enough to pay $10 a slice, but maybe $3. after another three slices you're actually getting tired of pizza, but he lowers the price to $1, so another two slices are consumed... at some point, the margin of utitlity becomes so small that the manager could offer you free pizza, and you would not oblige.
The pleasure received from one incrimental unit diminishes increasingly as more unites are consumed... Other obvious practical examples include drug addictions (it takes more and more to get you high), roller coaster rides (it's not worth waiting three hours in line after the second time through), and even your favorite song (if placed on repeat for six hours, it will diminish from being joy-inducing to torture--which btw is why the radio sucks ;) ).
Every experience in life is subject to diminishing marginal utilities. We get bored. It takes more and more to please us until we no longer even notice the pleasure or beauty within. This is what allows us to walk to our cars in the spring ignoring all of the blooming and budding flowers and trees, drive to work without noticing the sunrise painting the sky with indescribable beauty, and without being fascinated by the concept of driving (remember the first time you were behind the wheel?), or speaking, or music, or nature, or anything. We've experienced it before. It no longer adds any pleasure to our lives. I believe spiritually there is a plethora of caveats to this understanding... but one particularly has stuck in my mind intriguingly.
God does not change.
ever. eternally.
therefore, God does not experience diminishing marginal utility.
God experiences all of the initial joy and passion and pleasure and excitement of seeing a sunrise unceasingly, every time, without end, without diminishing returns, eternally... This God is actively involved in creation, He opens a flower in the morning and receives such joy and gladness that He races to the next flower in pure exhileration to experience the pleasure and joy and beauty again, and then to the next flower, and the next, and the next, experiencing the same joy, the same gladness, the same sense of pleasure and satisfaction continuously and infinitely, everyday. Every experience is essentially "new" to God. God’s heart does not harden, His senses do not dull, His mercy is new every morning. If you think about the implications, it is quite beautiful really.
I’ve heard skeptics question our enjoyment of heaven if we live eternally, and all we ever do is praise the Father for the Glory of His Grace, world without end... And yet, if the experience of diminishing marginal utilities did not exist, it would be absurd to question this. It's like receiving an ice cream cone every day, without the possibility of it getting old. Without getting "burnt out." The question I pose is this: do we experience diminishing marginal utility as a result of the Fall? or the result of our intrinsic make-up?
Further thoughts (though I'm more interested in yours):
For the case of it being a result of the Fall:
Many of our greatest problems present themselves because we grow weary of doing good.
Creation does not share in this flaw. Animals perform their daily tasks each day without ceasing and without question, almost robotic… Angels do as well, eternally proclaiming "Holy, Holy, Holy," and falling in response to the One who sits on the Throne.
Perhaps our description of “robotic” is a better description of our flaw then their monotony.
If a creature—such as a bee—is created with the sole task of pollinating a flower… and it performs that same rudimentary task day in and day out without experiencing diminishing marginal utility--content and satisfied every time--perhaps it is not a "lesser," robotic creature, but a creature content with fulfilling the purpose God endowed it with...
Trees grow. Birds sing. Angels sing "Holy Holy," eternally with no loss of satisfaction...
Nature is far more obedient than we are.
I would speculate—purely conjecturally—that before the Fall, we humans did not experience such diminishing marginal utility. I think it not dissatisfaction that led Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, but rather deception.
Perhaps it is this "disunion with God"--as Deitrich Bonhoeffer refers to our knowledge of good and evil--that planted this "boredom" within us.
I’m more inclined to think it an affect of the curse as we see that children do not experience it to the magnitude of adults. A baby will likely play peek-a-boo well beyond the tolerance of an adult, still giggling and screaming “again!” at each time the game is played.
Paul warns against it, "do not grow weary in doing good."
Oh, and we are created Imago Dei, in the image of our Creator, who does not grow weary, or tired, or bored (Isaiah 40) and who is immutable... which is perhaps the strongest evidence I can contrive for it being an effect of the curse.
For the case of it being endowed by God in our make up
Alternatively, perhaps the dissatisfaction with all that the world has to offer leads us to desire the more filling, everlasting, insatiable satisfaction of God Himself?
In this, it would be an innate a defense mechanism against idolatry. A sort of fingerprint of God--perhaps similar or part of "eternity in our hearts"--that keeps us longing for something better, something more until we find God.
This could be the experience of Solomon, who--after trying all the world has to offer and experiencing dissatisfaction--concluded “everything is meaningless.”
"everything" being all that is under the sun--that is to say, everything apart from God.
Thoughts?
For example, you’re wandering through the desert for two weeks without any food to eat, starving, and emaciated when there, on the horizon, is a glorious pizza hut. The manager notices your emaciation and quickly changes the prices, one slice of pizza = $25. You’re starving, you don’t care, $25 is nothing to pay for pizza… so you eat your slice and still you are hungry… but you're not hungry enough to pay $25... for the next piece you'll pay $20... the next maybe $10... after three pieces you're not really hungry enough to pay $10 a slice, but maybe $3. after another three slices you're actually getting tired of pizza, but he lowers the price to $1, so another two slices are consumed... at some point, the margin of utitlity becomes so small that the manager could offer you free pizza, and you would not oblige.
The pleasure received from one incrimental unit diminishes increasingly as more unites are consumed... Other obvious practical examples include drug addictions (it takes more and more to get you high), roller coaster rides (it's not worth waiting three hours in line after the second time through), and even your favorite song (if placed on repeat for six hours, it will diminish from being joy-inducing to torture--which btw is why the radio sucks ;) ).
Every experience in life is subject to diminishing marginal utilities. We get bored. It takes more and more to please us until we no longer even notice the pleasure or beauty within. This is what allows us to walk to our cars in the spring ignoring all of the blooming and budding flowers and trees, drive to work without noticing the sunrise painting the sky with indescribable beauty, and without being fascinated by the concept of driving (remember the first time you were behind the wheel?), or speaking, or music, or nature, or anything. We've experienced it before. It no longer adds any pleasure to our lives. I believe spiritually there is a plethora of caveats to this understanding... but one particularly has stuck in my mind intriguingly.
God does not change.
ever. eternally.
therefore, God does not experience diminishing marginal utility.
God experiences all of the initial joy and passion and pleasure and excitement of seeing a sunrise unceasingly, every time, without end, without diminishing returns, eternally... This God is actively involved in creation, He opens a flower in the morning and receives such joy and gladness that He races to the next flower in pure exhileration to experience the pleasure and joy and beauty again, and then to the next flower, and the next, and the next, experiencing the same joy, the same gladness, the same sense of pleasure and satisfaction continuously and infinitely, everyday. Every experience is essentially "new" to God. God’s heart does not harden, His senses do not dull, His mercy is new every morning. If you think about the implications, it is quite beautiful really.
I’ve heard skeptics question our enjoyment of heaven if we live eternally, and all we ever do is praise the Father for the Glory of His Grace, world without end... And yet, if the experience of diminishing marginal utilities did not exist, it would be absurd to question this. It's like receiving an ice cream cone every day, without the possibility of it getting old. Without getting "burnt out." The question I pose is this: do we experience diminishing marginal utility as a result of the Fall? or the result of our intrinsic make-up?
Further thoughts (though I'm more interested in yours):
For the case of it being a result of the Fall:
Many of our greatest problems present themselves because we grow weary of doing good.
Creation does not share in this flaw. Animals perform their daily tasks each day without ceasing and without question, almost robotic… Angels do as well, eternally proclaiming "Holy, Holy, Holy," and falling in response to the One who sits on the Throne.
Perhaps our description of “robotic” is a better description of our flaw then their monotony.
If a creature—such as a bee—is created with the sole task of pollinating a flower… and it performs that same rudimentary task day in and day out without experiencing diminishing marginal utility--content and satisfied every time--perhaps it is not a "lesser," robotic creature, but a creature content with fulfilling the purpose God endowed it with...
Trees grow. Birds sing. Angels sing "Holy Holy," eternally with no loss of satisfaction...
Nature is far more obedient than we are.
I would speculate—purely conjecturally—that before the Fall, we humans did not experience such diminishing marginal utility. I think it not dissatisfaction that led Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit, but rather deception.
Perhaps it is this "disunion with God"--as Deitrich Bonhoeffer refers to our knowledge of good and evil--that planted this "boredom" within us.
I’m more inclined to think it an affect of the curse as we see that children do not experience it to the magnitude of adults. A baby will likely play peek-a-boo well beyond the tolerance of an adult, still giggling and screaming “again!” at each time the game is played.
Paul warns against it, "do not grow weary in doing good."
Oh, and we are created Imago Dei, in the image of our Creator, who does not grow weary, or tired, or bored (Isaiah 40) and who is immutable... which is perhaps the strongest evidence I can contrive for it being an effect of the curse.
For the case of it being endowed by God in our make up
Alternatively, perhaps the dissatisfaction with all that the world has to offer leads us to desire the more filling, everlasting, insatiable satisfaction of God Himself?
In this, it would be an innate a defense mechanism against idolatry. A sort of fingerprint of God--perhaps similar or part of "eternity in our hearts"--that keeps us longing for something better, something more until we find God.
This could be the experience of Solomon, who--after trying all the world has to offer and experiencing dissatisfaction--concluded “everything is meaningless.”
"everything" being all that is under the sun--that is to say, everything apart from God.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
...hooray
what a hurricane of a month... i haven't had time to look up.
my friend shawn is living out the resurrection and redemption of Christ in peru. i've linked to his blog where you can join him. amazing stories... amazing commitment. what would the world look like if everyone said "okay God, whatever you want me to do, wherever you want me to go--i'm there"?
go listen to the apprentice...
they played a ridiculously fun show friday, eric is absolutely insane and totally in love with Jesus...
"this is a song you can dance too... and all of you emo kids that are too insecure to have fun: the Lord loves you, and i do too... so you don't have to be insecure... if you're skinny, you can eat a burger... if you're fat, you can stop eating burgers and we can all give each other hugs and dance!"
if you live in indiana, check out his church. eric's the worship pastor, and from what i hear the teaching pastor is excellent...
so much to say so little time...
my friend shawn is living out the resurrection and redemption of Christ in peru. i've linked to his blog where you can join him. amazing stories... amazing commitment. what would the world look like if everyone said "okay God, whatever you want me to do, wherever you want me to go--i'm there"?
go listen to the apprentice...
they played a ridiculously fun show friday, eric is absolutely insane and totally in love with Jesus...
"this is a song you can dance too... and all of you emo kids that are too insecure to have fun: the Lord loves you, and i do too... so you don't have to be insecure... if you're skinny, you can eat a burger... if you're fat, you can stop eating burgers and we can all give each other hugs and dance!"
if you live in indiana, check out his church. eric's the worship pastor, and from what i hear the teaching pastor is excellent...
so much to say so little time...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
...feel i'm coming back to life
i hate to talk up pastors because i know they're just a conduit, and they're not looking for praise.
that said, the Ghost is flowing through francis chan...
i really needed to hear some fresh truth. it's difficult to keep oneself unstained from the world when you incessently breathe the pollution of American consumerism and church apathy. God reminded me of why i exist today, and i want to pour out my life as a drink-offering to Him and others whether anyone else follows or not.
alas, it would be grand to meet some fellow visionaries.
that said, the Ghost is flowing through francis chan...
i really needed to hear some fresh truth. it's difficult to keep oneself unstained from the world when you incessently breathe the pollution of American consumerism and church apathy. God reminded me of why i exist today, and i want to pour out my life as a drink-offering to Him and others whether anyone else follows or not.
alas, it would be grand to meet some fellow visionaries.
...sun
the sun rises and sets day after day, fulfilling its purpose without question, never trying to be the moon, never breaking, never rushing ahead...
i long to be that obedient to God.
i long to be that obedient to God.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
...weekend.
I drove up to Morgantown on Friday night. It was a pretty successful trip, no speeding tickets, rabid moose attacks, or anything of the sort.
Keith and Chad came over Saturday and taught me how to do manly, repairman things like hanging drywall, fixing front doors and turn on flashlights.
Keith wrote instructions of my flashlight with a sharpie.
Keith thinks he is very clever :P
He wants to teach me how to snowboard, but that would involve me skipping class, taking off work some friday, and leaving all sense of responsibility. I think we're going next weekend.
Laura is God's tangible Grace, it was refreshing to have a weekend to hang out (and eat the most amazing foods this side of heaven).
Shane preached a message about how multitudes of people in John 6 only sought the "presents" of Jesus, but his true followers sought the "presence" of Jesus. It hit me pretty heavily because (1) both points not only started with the same letter, but also sounded exactly the same--which is pretty rad, and (2) because of the profundity of the statement. Jesus fed a lot of people, and they started following him like your stalker ex-girlfriend, but they were only interested in fish pancakes. When Jesus started talking about the heavy truth of what following him looks like, they all walked away. Except the twelve he had chosen (just as the twelve baskets of bread were all that was left of the food, sneaky, sneaky).
I don't follow Jesus for fish. But i think in difficult times it is sometimes easy to distance ourselves from Jesus and accuse Him of sinning against us for not healing our sick friend, fixing their marriage, or giving us whatever else we feel that we need. We hold him at a distance instead of realizing he came to give us himself. His presence. A reconciled relationship with the Father.
I love that His disciples didn't understand everything either. Jesus just turns away 25,000 disciples (which is really bad pr, btw), then looks at his twelve and says "are you out, too? " They're response is essentially, "well, we don't really get your whole cannibal speech either, and yeah, we'd kinda like to leave, but we think you're God, so we're in."
they stand firm on their beliefs, even when their feelings and thoughts are all over the map[2].
"God i believe, help my unbelief"
Keith and Chad came over Saturday and taught me how to do manly, repairman things like hanging drywall, fixing front doors and turn on flashlights.
Keith wrote instructions of my flashlight with a sharpie.
Keith thinks he is very clever :P
He wants to teach me how to snowboard, but that would involve me skipping class, taking off work some friday, and leaving all sense of responsibility. I think we're going next weekend.
Laura is God's tangible Grace, it was refreshing to have a weekend to hang out (and eat the most amazing foods this side of heaven).
Shane preached a message about how multitudes of people in John 6 only sought the "presents" of Jesus, but his true followers sought the "presence" of Jesus. It hit me pretty heavily because (1) both points not only started with the same letter, but also sounded exactly the same--which is pretty rad, and (2) because of the profundity of the statement. Jesus fed a lot of people, and they started following him like your stalker ex-girlfriend, but they were only interested in fish pancakes. When Jesus started talking about the heavy truth of what following him looks like, they all walked away. Except the twelve he had chosen (just as the twelve baskets of bread were all that was left of the food, sneaky, sneaky).
I don't follow Jesus for fish. But i think in difficult times it is sometimes easy to distance ourselves from Jesus and accuse Him of sinning against us for not healing our sick friend, fixing their marriage, or giving us whatever else we feel that we need. We hold him at a distance instead of realizing he came to give us himself. His presence. A reconciled relationship with the Father.
I love that His disciples didn't understand everything either. Jesus just turns away 25,000 disciples (which is really bad pr, btw), then looks at his twelve and says "are you out, too? " They're response is essentially, "well, we don't really get your whole cannibal speech either, and yeah, we'd kinda like to leave, but we think you're God, so we're in."
they stand firm on their beliefs, even when their feelings and thoughts are all over the map[2].
"God i believe, help my unbelief"
Saturday, March 1, 2008
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